


To The End

by xVenusRosex



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Male Slash, Slash, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 08:33:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19059037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xVenusRosex/pseuds/xVenusRosex
Summary: WARNING: AU - Alternate universe. Not canon/comic compliant. Takes place during Ats season 5. Scenes and dialogue have been changed to fit the story.What if ‘that one time’ had happened in LA rather than the past? What if Andrew had have blabbed to Buffy sooner rather than later? And what might happen when Buffy comes to LA after finding out Spike is back, only to realize something has changed between the two?This is both Spangel and Spuffy, but ends up Spangel.





	1. Letting Go

“Movin’ on.”

“Movin’.”

The air was silent and tense, neither man budging. Angel glanced sideways at Spike. The blonde met his gaze, swallowing thickly. The younger vampire moved from the desk, pacing instead like he normally did. Spike never could stay still for long or keep his trap shut. Angel normally found it irritating, but right now he was hoping the blonde would say something to distract him from his dark thoughts.

He didn’t, to his dismay. He just kept pacing, before moving to stand in front of one of the large floor to ceiling windows. Spike observed the skyline of Los Angeles, seemingly lost in thought. His face was scrunched from anger, a frown marring handsome features.

“Want a drink? A real one, this time.” Angel offered, pulling out a bottle of whiskey.

Spike was suddenly very glad to be back and off that bloody plane, where alcohol options had been limited to tiny bottles.

“God, yes.”

They drank in silence for several minutes. Angel checked the time and figured he may as well head upstairs early. The head had been dealt with and the ritual would go as planned. He was hungry anyway.

“Where are you headed?” Spike wondered.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t, just wonderin’.”

Angel turned to face him. “Are you hungry? I’m about to head out.”

“Sure.” Spike tossed back the rest of his drink.

O

 

It was quiet in Angel’s place too. The brunette finished his blood as did Spike. They sat watching television for awhile, until Spike turned to look back at him with a frown.

“You think Andrew is gonna tell her?”

Angel shrugged. “Probably.”

“I hope not.”

The older man looked pensive for a moment before he spoke. “You should just tell her that you’re back already. Buffy is gonna find out eventually.”

“You want me to-?” Spike gave him a perplexed stare.

Angel’s eyes flickered over to him from his seated position. “May as well. It’s been long enough.”

Spike was surprised by the maturity. Not long ago, his grandsire would have been more annoyed by him pining over the other blonde. Between losing Cordy, Fred, and realizing Buffy had moved on in Rome, there seemed to be a sudden shift in the brunette. Actually, Spike was mildly concerned. Because besides Buffy, there seemed to be some dark secret he was harboring. Gunn had let him know his concerns about their boss, as as the former watcher.

The blonde could sense it too. This place had changed Angel the most out of all them and he wasn’t sure that he liked it.

In some ways, it was good too. He seemed less irritated by him these days and had actually wanted him to stick around. Dare he say, they were almost somewhat friendly. It reminded him of the 1890’s - their countless adventures and camaraderie before the soul.

Now, they both had souls. This past year it almost felt like they had gotten reacquainted.

Finally, he answered him. “Think I’ll wait awhile.”

“We may not have awhile.” Angel reminded him coolly.

Spike bristled at that. “Right. Another loomin’ apocalypse.”

“Seriously, you should call her.”

Spike shook his head. “We left on...I mean, I left her on good terms. Told you already, went out a hero and all that. Besides, she only said it cause she knew I was dyin’.”

“Said what?”

The blonde tensed. “That she loved me.” He decided to be honest.

Angel was silent to his surprise. He expected another dig about how their relationship hadn’t been real and could never hold a candle to the love they had shared. Like in Rome. Instead, the trip seemed to have changed Angel’s perspective.

“Buffy was proud of you.” He murmured.

“She tell you that?”

“Doesn’t matter.” The older vampire said evenly. “And it doesn’t matter if she meant it or not - you need to call her.”

Spike decided Angel was being weirdly adamant about this. Standing up abruptly, he stormed over to him with a scowl.

“What’s it to you, anyhow?”

“I’ve lost quite a few people lately. If Fred or Cordelia were to...” he trailed off, looking more desolate that he’d seen him in some time. And that was saying something, considering he brooded most of the time. “I’d want to know that they were alive.”

Spike felt like an idiot suddenly. Sitting near him, he gazed at him blankly before staring out the window instead. The silence was palpable.

“Right. O’course.” He muttered solemnly. “But it’s different between us, me an’ Buffy. She’s better off without me.”

The words hurt to say aloud, but he had admitted it already in Rome. In different words, something along the lines of ‘I never stood a chance with her, but I’ll keep trying.’

“Better off?” Angel repeated in a derisive, blank tone. His brown eyes were trained on the window too. Neither of them so much as glanced at each other.

“She’s moved on, like Andrew said. We gotta move on too.” Spike insisted, shrugging.

“Yeah...” Angel’s tone was reluctant. 

The older man glanced at Spike again, who was pouring himself a glass of bourbon. He would never tell him this but part of him was relieved that Buffy had moved on. Any notions of either him or Spike getting back together with her seemed unlikely at this point. And it left him more open to the idea of other relationships. He’d tried with Cordelia, but that whole situation had went south. He’d never really gotten a chance to tell her how he felt. And he’d sent Nina away.

That left Spike. Angel found it ironic that the person he had tried to avoid all this time was the one here with him at the end. It also left him uncomfortable and had him mulling over feelings he would much rather have buried deep within. Extremely deep. Being in denial was simpler than admitting that he had feelings for the other man.

Spike, whom he had left unscathed in Sunnydale even after the younger vampire had attacked Buffy multiple times. Angel had attacked soulless Darla and Drusilla for less. Spike had no idea how much slack he’d cut him, cold though his attitude was towards the younger man. 

Back then, his excuse to Buffy was that he knew he’d leave town. What he hadn’t counted on was him returning. More than once. Angel should have known. The younger man was obsessive. Almost as much as he was. Without the soul, that is.

The younger vampire seemed about the same with a soul, but Angel could tell it had shifted his mindset somewhat. It was bound to - that was the weight of having a soul. He seemed slightly more introspective and even more insightful than he already had been. It stung Angel to know that even without the soul, Spike had helped and tried to do good. For selfish reasons and to impress Buffy, but still. He had tried. That was more than Angelus could say. Angelus wouldn’t even give a crap.

Spike walked back over to him, quirking a brow. “You alright? Not that I give a rat’s ass.”

Angel glared at him. “I’m fine. I should probably head back down.”

“Look, we’ve exchanged plenty of nasties toward one another these past few months, but I feel like we’ve also been able to talk. Man to man. Vampire to vampire, whatever.” Spike muttered. “If something’s bothering you, just spit it out already. Your brooding is getting quite old, mate.”

“So is hearing you flap your lips.” Angel bit back harshly. “Do you love the sound of your own voice or something?”

Spike gave him a wide smirk. “I think we both know the answer to that, you wanker.”

“God, you’re irritating.” The older vampire grumbled.

“And yet you asked me to stay.” The words were quieter, letting Angel know that he had bruised Spike’s feelings. The younger man for all his bravado and posturing, was quite sensitive under his carefully placed mask. That would be sensitive, kind William. The part that hadn’t been completely eradicated. That was the part that made Angel feel guilty. He didn’t feel guilt over Darla - she was his sire and hadn’t exactly been the purest of people. He felt no guilt toward Drusilla - regret, maybe. The girl had been somewhat insane before he’d turned her. He and Darla had sent her over the edge.

But William? He should have never been turned. 

“I asked you to stay because I need more hands. Fighters.” Angel explained. 

“And that’s all?” Spike sounded cocky and looked it too with his hands resting on his hips, but he could tell that he had indeed hurt his feelings.

“That’s the only reason.” Angel told him quietly. “What other reason would there be?”

Spike seemed to deflate a bit, twisting at something in the older man’s gut. His blue eyes narrowed as he stepped closer to him.

“Understood.” Spike blinked, sniffing sharply as he looked him up and down venomously. “Right then, suppose we should head down then.”

Angel frowned. “I...okay, hang on. Look, it’s-!”

Spike shrugged casually. “It’s fine. Aren’t you late for some meeting or other?”

“Not presently.” 

It grew awkwardly silent for a moment, the two gazing at each other before glancing away. Angel scratched at the back of his head, swallowing heavily. He didn’t know what to do or say just then, but he didn’t want Spike to leave either. He was secretly enjoying his presence, annoying as it might be. And he knew the younger man was annoyed with him too.

“Another drink, then?” The younger man suggested.

“I think you’ve had enough.”

Spike nearly growled at that controlling tone of his that he loathed. Always the grandsire, even now. Couldn’t help himself.

“I’m quite alright. Not even tipsy. It’ll be some time before I’m truly knackered. Vampire constitution, remember?” He drawled.

He grabbed his wrist as he began to walk away, causing Spike to glance curiously at him. “What-?”

Pressing a kiss to his lips, Angel waited for the punch to the face. It never came. Opening brown eyes, he noticed Spike simply looked shocked but not angry. Those features of his looked much nicer when his face was relaxed and open like this, not all smirks and grimaces.

Those full lips snapped shut, cheekbones becoming even more pronounced as he sucked in an unneeded breath.

“Angel, what the bloody hell-?” His tone was soft though, barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know okay!” He snapped furiously, both angry and embarrassed at once.

“So this is why you sent dog girl away?” Spike wondered jokingly. Angel didn’t see it that way.

His arms folded defensively. “Absolutely not. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Spike nodded, adjusting Angel’s collar for him, which both confused and pissed him off. It amazed him how the blonde could keep his cool even when others were upset with him. His patience was impressive, Angel would give him that. But considering he had been with Harmony and Drusilla, not surprising.

“Was just joking, you big poof.” Spike smirked. “But yes, anger will solve all of our problems.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “Okay, don’t act like you don’t sometimes fly off the lid.”

“True. I have a temper too.” Spike admitted. “Never said I didn’t, now did I?”

The older man’s teeth grit together. “This was a mistake.”

He began walking towards the elevator until Spike’s voice stopped him.

“The kiss? Or me being here?” Spike asked loudly. When he was quiet for too long, the blond continued, “Both then, inn’it? I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked.”

He wasn’t expecting that. “What?”

Spike seemed older suddenly or more mature. Perhaps it was the same thing that made Angel himself seem older, wiser. The soul.

“People don’t like having me around. It’s always been that way, since my human days. Always the odd one out. An outsider.” Spike drawled pensively, as if discussing a character analysis of someone else, “That’s why I’m happy that Buffy moved on. I wore her down, obsessed over her, made her love me. I pushed. She deserves more than that.” He paused with a wry smile. “Just because you love someone, doesn’t make them yours.”

Angel wanted to laugh at the irony. “Now you know how I feel.”

Spike faltered. “You mean that bird Cordelia? Oh yeah, she seemed lovely.  
A bit mouthy though. Guess you two never got the chance-!”

“Not her.” Angel interrupted. “And there are people who don’t mind you being around. Fred, Gunn, Lorne, Wesley. Even me.”

“You-!”

“I give you a hard time because, well, for a lot of reasons. But I do want you to stay. As a fighter, as a confidant.” Angel suddenly frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets. “And even though Fred’s gone now, she fought for you. Even when I didn’t, even when I thought letting you rest was more merciful.”

That was a slight lie. Once Fred had explained to him there was a real possibility of bringing him back, he’d been on board. Pevayne had screwed that venture up and as a result, he had punished him for ruining Spike’s chance by locking him in his own personal eternal hell, where he couldn’t harm anyone else.

That was irrelevant now though he supposed, since the Powers That Be had long since restored Spike and made him corporeal again.

 

“I know. I hadn’t forgotten.” Spike felt a weird lump in his throat.

Only less than a year with Angel and his team, and he felt more welcomed than he ever had with Buffy and the Scoobies. Not that he blamed them - after all, they’d seen soulless him more than soulful him. Still, it kind of hurt considering he had tried to earn their trust and help out whist lacking a soul. Oh well. He supposed he should let that go now. Right now, another apocalypse was coming. They needed to be ready. 

Angel walked back over to him, noticing the tears that Spike tried hard to blink back. Sensitive, his boy was. But tough. He longed to see that wolfish smirk again.

“I guess we ought to head down for real this time.” Angel murmured nonchalantly.

“Don’t trust me all alone in your place?” The words sounded soft, but it made Angel smile a little as the tears seemed to have dissipated. 

“Hardly.”

“Right, then.”

Angel hesitated, before grabbing his chin so that he met his gaze. Pressing another gentle kiss to his lips, he felt him respond more roughly. They kissed deeply until both pulled back with slightly widened eyes. Spike eyed the bed and then Angel.

“There are other ways of movin’ on.”

“No, we really shouldn’t...” He shook his head. “We need, uh, we need to-!”

“For god’s sake! You’re the one who keeps snoggin’ me. Either you want it or not.”

Angel’s brow rose. “And you’re okay with this?”

Spike frowned deeply. “Well, I never was one for shaggin’ blokes even though other vamps don’t much care for labels. I was always so loyal to Dru, and look how that turned out. Got saddled with Harmony somehow and then wore Buffy down till she felt the same way. The sad part is, I don’t know if she ever did.”

“Oh come on. Like you never strayed.” Angel wondered just how much of a hopeless romantic William had been. He pressed another kiss to his lips to keep them in the mood, feeling a hard erection through his tight, black jeans. It rubbed up against his own, making him moan quietly.

“A few times. Dru did most of the straying. With you, even.” The glare cut right through him. Okay, so that answered a long-standing question. Apparently Spike was still a little miffed about Angelus’ time in Sunnydale.

“Then why are you doing this?” Angel wondered. “You don’t like men. I’ve known that. You don’t have to-!”

“Shut up. I want to.” Spike grabbed his cock through his pants suddenly, making Angel gasp. “You fancy me a bit, don’t you? You want it too?”

Angel was sure Spike had no idea that he had only imagined this moment. Years of pent up curiosity and desire. He had been intrigued by him the moment he had met him as a fledging. William had been difficult to subdue however and he had always been hard on him as a sire, since Dru hadn’t been quite sane enough to teach him how to be a good killer. Angelus had taught him well, maybe too well considering Spike had killed not one, but two slayers. Would have killed a third probably if not for the chip.

“Spike...” he murmured, groaning as his head rolled back. “Hang on-!”

“Bloody hell. Enjoy yourself for once, you repressed poofter. No need to worry about perfect happiness with me, is there?” Spike grinned at him, placing his hands on his shoulders. “We’re moving on.”

“I was speaking more metaphorically earlier.” Angel told him.

“As was I.” Spike nodded. “But this is nice also, inn’it?”

Angel kissed him deeply, the force taking him by surprise as they stumbled towards the bed. Spike hastily removed his coat and shirt as did Angel. Pants were removed and tossed to the side as they continued to kiss. Angel dragged fingertips down the blonde’s chest, still feeling like this was an out of body experience.

The blonde moaned when he felt a tongue trail across a sensitive nipple before moving to his jawline and neck. Spike’s fingers clutched dark hair as he pressed kisses down sensitive flesh. Suddenly, Spike flipped them over so he was on top. Swallowing, he looked at the older man’s girth. It was a bit bigger than his own, twitching as Spike slowly wrapped his hand around it. Angel wanted to tell him that it was fine, he didn’t need to if he wasn’t into it, but Spike shocked him by taking his length into his mouth maddeningly slow. He teased him, licking along it languidly before sucking on the tip.

Angel’s eyes nearly rolled back as his back arched, grabbing the younger man’s shoulder for leverage. Spike continued like this until he felt the sac tighten, cupping it in his hand as his eyes flickered up at him enticingly.

He pulled back and moved so that he was top again. Spike then moved to lay on his back, waiting for the brunette to retrieve some lube. He wanted to ask why he conveniently had that until he remembered Nina. 

Gasping, he grit his teeth as Angel prepared him gently. He tried to will his body to relax, but he kept clenching against the intruding digits. A kiss was pressed to his temple, then his lips as he tried to stretch him further. Spike grabbed his cock, pumping as Angel thrust the tip in. Groaning, his eyes shut from the pain as he thrust in further until he was fully sheathed. The older man waited several moments, before he pulled out slowly and thrust back in. Spike moaned loudly, the pain turning vaguely more pleasurable. There was a spot Angel was hitting that felt amazing and he arched his back as he tried to get him to keep grazing against it. His own cock throbbed, needing release. He pumped it faster this time, one hand clenched into the blankets as his moans escalated. This went on for what felt like forever, both of them lost in each other.

Angel grunted as he felt his release building up sooner than he would have liked.  
But Spike was so...

Groaning, he came hard just moments after he watched Spike shoot all over his chest and hand. Unable to hold back, he stilled as his seed spilled into him.

Spike’s pants lessened after a few minutes. Angel’s breaths returned to normal too after some time. Though neither needed the oxygen, it was a habit both had a hard time breaking.

Angel ran his hand through peroxide locks, before he turned his gaze to the ceiling. Spike’s eyes were trained on it too, his expression unreadable yet he seemed content. Sated. Angel smiled a little, feeling the same way. 

An odd feeling built up within him suddenly and Angel panicked a bit as he made to stand. Spike noticed this, propping himself on his elbows as he watched him worriedly. “Angelus about to make his grand debut?”

Angel would have told him to shut up if he didn’t feel so strange. This had happened after his night with Buffy and had nearly happened with Darla. He willed himself to calm down - he was fine. His soul was in tact. He was not perfectly happy. Angel realized he was trying to convince himself.

“Angel?” Spike looked concerned now.

“I’m okay.” He laid down next to him. “Really, I’m good.”

“That curse is pesky, inn’it?”

“For starters.” He replied darkly. “I’m gonna take a quick nap.”

Spike decided he would too. Sounded like a nice idea and plus, he was too content to move. He’d been shagged good and proper and was certain his legs wouldn’t quite work even if he did try to leave now.

 

O

 

When they woke again, it was to the sound of a phone ringing. Spike grumpily opened his eyes and tried to answer it, only to realize that Angel had his arms wrapped around him tightly. His head was also buried into his neck. 

“Get up, you big oaf!” He hissed.

The older vampire mumbled something in his sleep before stretching and pulling his smaller form closer to him. Spike rolled his eyes and wrenched himself out of his grip. Answering it hurriedly, he waited to hear who it was.

“Spike? I need to speak to Angel.” Harmony’s high-pitched voice greeted him.

“I’ll send him down, Harm.”

“Were you two hanging out after your trip to Rome?” She wondered. “I’m so glad you guys are starting to get along.”

Spike smirked and glanced back at Angel’s slumbering form. “Yes, well, boss man will be down in a few.”

“Good. He took a seriously long lunch today. Like, I get he’s CEO but honestly, it’s been two hours!” Her exasperation was clear and Spike could feel the eye roll from here.

“Don’t fret, luv. He’ll be right down.” Spike told her casually.

“Cool. Oh, and tell him that Gunn really needs to speak to him in person.”

“About the head? It’s already been-!”

“No, not that. Something else. He seems concerned over his behavior or something.”

“Ah, I see.” Spike had that same concern.

“‘Kay, bye Spikey!”

“...bye.” He gazed at the phone for a moment before hanging up. Angel was beginning to stir and he woke him further by shaking him a little. “Come on. Rise and shine.”

Angel grunted, sitting up with a hazy look. Inclining his head to Spike, he yawned a little. “What time is it?”

His alarm on his watch hadn’t gone off yet.

“Time to head back down. You should probably shower first.” 

“Right.” Angel glanced over at him for a moment before adding, “Promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this.”

Spike had heard that before. Scowling to hide the hurt, he scoffed at him. “Ashamed you shagged me? Whatever. Won’t tell anyone.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Angel tried to rectify what he was trying and failing to explain. He didn’t want anyone to know yet because he had a lot on his plate right now. He wasn’t sure they were even going to live through this battle. And should they, then and only then, would he want to go public with it.

“I know exactly what you meant.”

“I just want us to get through this thing first. Then we can tell the others, if there’s anyone left to tell.”

“Oh.” Spike wasn’t used to being wanted. It left him uncomfortable, like his skin was too tight. All he had wanted in his human and demon life was to be loved. Now that he had acceptance, he wasn’t sure what to do with it. 

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. So bugger off and go shower. They need you downstairs.”

“And he’s still trying to boss me around.” He said more to himself as he grabbed a towel.

“Like you boss everyone else around? And you might be the top cat now, but someone ought to put your in your place every now and then.”

“As you like to always remind me.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He was joking, but not really.

Angel only smirked before he moved to press another kiss to his lips, before shutting the bathroom door behind him.


	2. Reunited

Angel strode out of the elevators followed by Spike. Both were showered, freshened up, and in a decidedly good mood. The blonde noticed Angel’s mood sour again when he glimpsed Wesley come out of his office shadowed closely by Illyria. The demon god had been spending much of her time around the former watcher these days.

Wesley looked absolutely haggard as though he hadn’t slept in days. It didn’t seem like he left the building much anymore so it was hardly a shock. Still, the two were taken aback at his appearance as they took the time to really notice. Fred’s death had hit him the hardest and it showed.

“You okay?” Angel asked.

“I’m fine.” He lied easily. “I’ve been looking for you. I tried to reach your cell but you didn’t answer so I left a voicemail.”

“I was...” Dark eyes shifted to Spike. “...busy. So what’s happened?”

Wesley tried for a reassuring smile, but it seemed pained instead. “Nothing that I couldn’t handle myself. I called for your assistance, but it’s already been dealt with. I think Gunn had something he wanted to say to you, actually.”

“Did he?” Wesley didn’t like Angel’s tone. Neither did Spike, who gave him a funny look.

“I also have some concerns.” Wesley said in a clipped tone.

“We can discuss it later.” Angel decided. Before either man could protest, he went to his large office and shut the doors.

Spike was about to follow him and ask him was his bleedin’ problem was, before Wesley snapped him out of his thoughts.

“You have a visitor.”

“Do I?”

The former watcher nodded. “Harmony just informed me that Buffy called her to confirm-!”

Spike’s eyes widened hugely and he took a big step toward him, getting in his face. “You might have said that first, you sod!”

“Calm down, Spike.” Wesley said smoothly. “Would you have preferred that I told you that in front of Angel? I realize you two have feelings for her. I was trying to do you a favor.”

Spike relaxed a little. “So it would appear.” He muttered. “Is she flyin’ here now?”

“Yes. She should be here tonight. I thought I’d let you know before Angel found out.”

“Andrew. That wanker.” Spike shook his head. “I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his gob shut.”

“Apparently not.”

“Are you two finished? I tire of your meaningless conversation.” Illyria informed them.

“Meaningless to you, luv.”

She tilted her head at him. “Who is this strangely named woman?”

“She’s...” A friend? Ally? Former enemy? Former lover? All of the above, perhaps. “...she’s an ally of mine. We knew each other in Sunnydale.”

“I see.” Brazenly blue eyes turned to the exhausted-looking man. “Let’s go.”

“Let’s.” Wesley agreed.

 

O

 

Spike waited by the entrance to the car garage of Wolfram and Hart nervously. He had wanted to pick her up from the airport, but Harmony had explained that she was sending a car for her and that he didn’t need to worry about that. Spike had also been peeved that she hadn’t mentioned it in her earlier phone call.

Sure enough, a sleek black car pulled in the parking garage. Even though he didn’t need the air, his breath hitched as the door opened and Buffy stepped out. All she had was a small duffel bag which told him that she had left in a hurry.

She looked just as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair was thrown into a messy bun, she wore jeans and a casual sweater. She looked less gaunt and tiny than she did last year and had a nice glow about her. It nearly reminded him of the girl he had met all those years ago.

“Spike...” Her voice caught, green eyes wide. Walking over to him, she stared at him with an intensity and reverence he hadn’t seen since that night the Bringers had snatched him out of her basement. 

Hugging him tightly, he startled at the affectionate gesture before slowly hugging her back. “Oh my god, you’re really...I’ve missed you.” 

Of all the ways he had imagined their reunion going, this wasn’t it. He truly thought she hadn’t meant her words to him while he’d been dying. He thought she had moved on and put their past behind them. That she was happier without him.

Then she slapped him hard across the face. Twice. Now that was more like it. When his eyes opened, his unbeating heart sank as he realized it wasn’t like old times after all.  


Rather than furious, she seemed more upset. Unshed tears made her eyes brighter and greener as she bit her lip.

“I had to find out that you were alive from Andrew? Andrew!” She shouted.

“I...” For once, he was at a loss for words. So he settled for the cliche response. “I’m sorry.”

She scoffed, folding her arms. “Sorry? Wow, that’s...wow. You’re sorry.” Her tone was flat, too flat. It made him a bit nervous.

“Buffy, I was gonna call. I swear.” God, he couldn’t stop the avalanche of cliches. He was on a roll.

The other blonde’s gaze darkened. “Says every man who doesn’t call back in actuality?”

“Buffy-!”

“You should have called.”

“And said what? Oh hey, I know I died and all saving the world, but I’m back now.” He spat, glaring.

 

“That would have been a nice start!” She exclaimed.

He changed tactics. “You didn’t mean it, that’s why I didn’t call. I was doing you a favor.”

It took her mind a couple moments to fully understand what he meant, but once the wires connected she scoffed. “A favor? Great. I expect that sort of behavior from Angel and Riley, but not you. I mean...” Scoffing, she shook her head disbelievingly. “You think you know what’s best for me or how I feel?”

“Burden of the soul, I suppose.” He supplied lamely, shrugging.

Buffy swallowed thickly. ‘I need the Spike that’s dangerous.’ Her words crept back to her. She hadn’t just meant as a fighter. She had ironically missed the soulless demon too, even after their toxic affair. God, she was screwed up. No wonder the men in her life left. 

As though sensing her thoughts, he pulled her toward him. “I don’t regret getting it, but it’s put things into perspective, luv. You deserve better than what I can offer you.”

This all sounded eerily like what Angel had said to her when he’d broken up with her. Buffy suddenly was beginning to regret flying here last minute. And not just because it was expensive.

“Better, huh?” She smiled wryly. 

The conversation came to a screeching halt as Wesley walked over to them along with Illyria.

“Buffy? Good to see you.” He said politely.

“Same here.” She took in his appearance. He looked so tired and unkempt, a far cry from the uppity young watcher she had met in Sunnydale.

“I heard you were helping train slayers as well as heading the new Watcher’s Council.”

“You heard right.” She smiled. Her gaze was focused on Illyria though with a fascination usually reserved for houseplants and science experiments. “Who’s this?”

“Illyria.” Spike supplied, sensing that Wesley didn’t want to discuss the being standing by his shoulder. “She’s a demon.”

“Once a great ruler, reduced to nothing in this weak vessel.” She corrected, causing both men to give her a look. She eyed Buffy observantly. “You have power too, though nowhere near on my scale. You are not just a mere mortal.”

“I’m the slayer. One of many.” She explained.

“I see.” Illyria decided she was done speaking to them and stalked back inside the building.

Wesley followed after her.

“You must be tired. Where are you staying?”

“Where are you staying?” She countered.

“Small studio. Bed’s too small to fit us both. I’d have to sleep on the couch.”

“Okay...” Her reunion with Spike was admittedly more awkward than she would have liked, but being with him was preferable to being in the same building as Angel. Harmony had explained they had spare rooms on Angel’s floor but she didn’t really like that option.

She supposed a cheap motel would do. Just as she was about to tell him that, Spike gestured to one of the many nice cars.

“I’ll grab the keys to the Viper and we’ll get you settled.”

“You own a Viper?”

“Angel’s. He won’t mind if I borrow it. Well, he will, but I don’t care.”

Buffy smiled widely. There’s the guy she remembered.

Then something hit her. “You and Angel are getting along?”

Spike faltered. “I wouldn’t say that. We’re comrades. Fightin’ the good fight together or some such piffle. Bein’ white hats and all that.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good. And Angel didn’t call me either, huh?”

“I told him not to.” Spike explained. “Not that he would’ve. He prefers you an’ me keep our distance. He was always protective of you.”

Buffy wasn’t so sure that was the only reason, but she accepted his words for now. “So, let’s see your place.”

“It’s not much. If you’d rather stay here or a hotel-!”

Buffy realized Spike seemed uncomfortable at the notion of her spending the night. Maybe it was too soon for him. She tried to be understanding, but all she felt was anger. She’d flown half way across the world for him and the idiot couldn’t tell how much she cared? Or worse, she thought, maybe he didn’t feel the same way anymore. Perhaps him rebutting her love towards him was his way of telling her that he was done, not just that he didn’t believe her.

The idea made her throat tight.

“You know what? I’ll stay here.” She said in a perky tone that betrayed her inner turmoil. “I’ll see your place later.”

“How long are you staying?”

“Dunno. Kind of a last minute trip. Andrew’s watching Dawn and I guess Giles can train the girls without me.”

“What about Faith?”

“Cleveland.” 

“Oh.”

It grew awkward again before he led her inside the building. The lights had dimmed and mostly everyone had gone home already. The receptionist desk where Harmony normally sat was empty.

Gunn was still there working as was Wesley. The lawyer walked out into the lobby to greet them. He shook her hand before shoving them into his pockets.

“Buffy Summers. I’ve heard alot about you.”

“Charles Gunn, right?”

“That’s right.” His grin was infectious and made her smile in turn. “So, you need a room? Cause we have plenty of space here.”

Buffy nodded. “Yep. I’m beat. And jet lagged.”

“Follow me.”

The three of them headed upstairs where he showed her where she’d be staying. Buffy thanked him, watching as he headed back down. Spike stood there with his hands shoved into the pockets of his duster. It looked newer than she remembered. It didn’t have the same spicy, ashy smell.

“I got a new one in Rome. Several actually. Old one got blown up.” He said suddenly, startling her. She must have been staring harder than she thought.

“O-Oh.” Buffy stepped inside the room, dropping the bag by the bed before turning to face him with folded arms. “You and Angel weren’t subtle. I’d heard about two vamps causing a scene. Andrew confirmed it for me when I came back home.”

“From your night with the ponce himself?”

“Excuse me?”

“The Immortal.” 

Buffy’s eyes widened comically before she laughed loudly, sitting down on the bed. Wiping her eyes, she sighed amusedly.

“I’m so very glad that this is so bleedin’ amusin’ for you.”  


“Andrew played you two. Majorly.”

Spike was startled by the words and a tiny bit relieved. “That nerd lied to us?”

“Not exactly. I’ve met the Immortal but dating him? I had just lost you, Spike. I couldn’t even think of dating another guy. It was too soon.”

Spike frowned a little, his gaze softening at her words. Still, he persisted. “We saw you in the club. Dancin’ and gyratin’ on him.”

Buffy snorted. “Wrong girl.”

Spike then realized Angel had told the bartender they were looking for a blonde, blue-eyed girl. Buffy had green ones. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t caught that or bothered to correct Angel. Too distracted at the time. It also made him realize that this whole time, Angel had a specific type. The kind of type that...well, that he himself was. The thought wigged him out even though he’d slept with him (and quite enjoyed it).

Did Angel actually love him? The thought was too weird to dwell on so he focused his attention back on his beautiful slayer.

She was fluffing up the pillows and pulling the sheets back. Rummaging through her bag, she pulled out a cute pair of pajamas. 

“That wasn’t you?” He finally responded.

“No. I was out patrolling.” Buffy explained. “I have decoys that look like me - it makes it easier to avoid certain people. Well, demons. There are way more clans over there than there is here.”

“Shoulda known. You barely know how to let your hair down and have fun.”

“Hey! I’m extremely fun. When I want to be.” She smirked.

“I know. Teasin’, luv.”

“I’ve been to that club a couple times.”

“With his Immortal-ness?” Spike slapped himself mentally as the words came out. He couldn’t turn his snark off to save his unlife.

“With some of the other slayers.” She corrected. 

He shifted on his feet, watching as she went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Once she came back out, he offered her a smile.

“Good night. I figure you must be tired.”

“Yeah. Good night.” She watched him go, a tiny frown tugging at her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Changed Faces

The following day, Spike entered Wolfram and Hart with the intent of annoying Angel and confronting him about the small detail that he had missed in Rome. 

 

“Green.”

Angel’s eyes were on Hamilton instead, barely registering the word. He folded his arms, finally glancing at him when he noisily cleared his throat.

“Excuse me?”

“Her eyes are green. Sometimes a little gray or hazel.” Spike told him quietly.

“Buffy? Don’t be ridiculous. They’re blue.” 

“Funny that she’s allegedly the love of your unlife, but you don’t even know that much. And you call me self-absorbed.” Spike scoffed.

Angel paused and gave him a funny look. “They’re green?”

“Like emeralds.” Spike tried not to smirk as his expense, sensing that Angel was actually floored by this information. The smirk broke through anyhow. “You did know Darla’s eye color, didn’t you?”

Angel nodded.

“Oh god, are you brooding?” Spike rolled his eyes, before he stilled at his conflicted expression. “Do you actually miss her?”

“No. Yes. It’s complicated.” Angel shrugged, before his eyes moved back over to Hamilton. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m busy.”

Wesley chose that moment to catch up to Angel, looking quite tired still. “I thought we might discuss-!”

“Can’t. Busy. You understand.”

“Angel, I’d thank you to to remember that there is some concern over your behavior.” Wesley began slowly. “You haven’t been yourself.”

“Look, I have the Fell Brethren waiting for me.” Angel told him. “Not to mention, a meeting with a US senator. I don’t have time for your concerns.”

Wesley’s abstract expression cleared as he blinked disbelievingly at him. “Angel-!”

The brunette simply turned and ignored him, heading into a meeting with Hamilton and the group of demons from earlier. Gunn had raised his concerns about how Angel had handled the baby issue with the rest of them. They hadn’t noticed just how bad it was until now.

Spike and Wesley exchanged a wary look, before turning as Gunn came up to them.

“Is he meeting with Senator bitch yet?” Gunn asked sharply, though neither took it personally. They knew damn well who the anger was directed towards.

“No. Later.” Spike answered. “He’s meetin’ with those brothers again. Finalizing everythin’, I suppose.”

“This is way fishy.” Charles shook his head, shoving his hands into his pocket. “I don’t understand what his deal is.”

“Your leader is corrupt.” Illyria’s voice made them all turn.

Buffy came out of the elevator at that moment, but she had managed to hear the blue demon’s words. Her eyes widened as she gazed between all of them.

“Leader as in Angel? What do you mean by corrupted?”

Spike grit his teeth, glaring at Illyria. “I don’t reckon he’s corrupt.”

“So he’s Angelus?” Gunn’s mouth was tight.

“No. I’d know, believe me.” Spike insisted, before he turned to the slayer. “You want to get out of here?”

Buffy gaped at him. “We can’t leave - we have to confront him.”

“No point, luv. He’s perpetually busy these days.” Spike drawled.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be heading back to my office.” Wesley told them distantly.

They watched as the former watcher disappeared into another room followed closely by Illyria.

Gunn was staring at Angel’s office. “Oh, we’ll be confronting him. Now’s not the time.”

Buffy looked frustrated. There were so many things going on that she wasn’t privy to. It was like she’d been transplanted back with familiar faces, but none of them were quite like she remembered. Especially her two vampire exes. Well, mainly just them. She didn’t know the others that well besides Wes. And he’d definitely changed too - he was darker, burdened by this place and Fred’s death.

“C’mon pet, the sun’s setting. We could patrol or...” He offered her a smirk, but it was more of an unsure grin if anything.

Again, Buffy wondered who this man was and where was her cocky, arrogant yet sensitive Spike. He was still the same mostly, yet there was something more aware and mature about him. Cautious, even. Buffy wondered if this was what William had been like. Those few glimpses of kindness and selflessness that she had seen even while he had been soulless. And then he’d gone and actually gotten it back. For her.

Her chest tightened and she startled when she felt a hand on her tense shoulder.

“Buffy?”

“I’m okay.” She gave him an easy, reassuring smile. It made his chest feel warm.

“Let’s go, then.”

“Can I see your place afterwards?” She asked coyly.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

His answer wasn’t very enthusiastic and she frowned a little. It was almost as if he didn’t want her there. Still, she said nothing, following him out to the parking garage. 

O

Spike walked side by side with her, a sense of familiarity washing over him. For once, she was accompanying him on patrol. He should have been happy, ecstatic that she was back, but all he felt was fear.

He sort of wished she had stayed in Rome. That Andrew hadn’t blabbed. That he had never tagged along with Angel in the first place. Now that she was here, it felt odd. Good, yet strange.

During his time as a non-corporeal being, he had been able to reexamine his time with her. The fruitless attempts at flirting, the pathetic way he’d chained her up and basically demanded that she should give him something. A crumb of hope, a promise that she would return his feelings. That horrid date where she had seen right through him and had told him he couldn’t feel love. That wasn’t true - he had still been able to feel love, but upon further examination he had come to realize that it was more lust and obsession. If he couldn’t kill her, he could have her. At least, that’s how soulless him felt.

Then the toxic hate sex and the tentative understanding and friendship they had managed to attain at the end.

‘I love you.’

‘No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.’

He grimaced. Buffy noticed his forlorn mood, which was unusual since he was normally so full of life.

“What’s up? You’re bad-moody. I can tell.” She said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“I’m fine.” The words came out more stiffly than he intended.

Frowning, she looked straight ahead. Finally, she settled on light conversation. She spoke about Rome and how things had been going over there, while Spike recounted the events that had taken place since he had been revived. The puppet adventure was his favorite as he got to poke a bit of fun at Angel. Buffy’s laughter put him back into a good mood.

They managed to dust some vamps before they finally made it back to his place. Unlocking the door, they stepped inside and she looked around appraisingly. Shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, she gave him a crooked smile.

“It’s...um, nice.” She said semi-enthusiastically.

“Well, it’s nothing like my old crypt, but it’s home now.” He shrugged.

Buffy eyed the bottles on the table and the videos games and DVDs that were stacked by the television.

“Do you miss her?” She asked suddenly.

“You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific.” His brow rose.

“Fred.”

His eyes lowered as he sat on the couch. Buffy frowned, wondering if it was still too soon for him to talk about. She watched him light a cigarette. Blowing out smoke, he nodded.

“Yeah. I do.” Spike looked desolate for a moment, before his expression became neutral again. “She was kind to me even when she had no reason to be. She didn’t give up on bringing me back. And we failed her...”

Buffy lifted his chin, her eyes glowing resolutely. “You guys didn’t fail her. I’m sure you did everything that you could.”

Spike swallowed the lump in his throat. “We tried, but she’s gone now.” He blew out another ring of smoke. “And now we’ve got the blue nuisance herself. Self-important and righteous, that one. She sure is givin’ us a run for our money.”

Buffy frowned deeply. “It seems like it affected Wesley alot...did he? Were they in love?”

“He loved her.”

“How awful...poor Wes. He looked so...”

“Bad?”

“Terrible.”

Their sad smiles faded as silence filled the room. Buffy finally sat down next to him, pleased when he seemed to relax further. She felt tempted to take his hand into hers. It still felt so surreal, him being here. She soaked in his presence, just taking him in. Buffy didn’t even hear his next words.

“Buffy? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?” She blinked. “Yeah, no! I’m sorry, what?”

“I was askin’ if you were hungry. We could order some takeout.”

“Okay, good. Cause I’m seriously wanting some Chinese food.”

“Right, then.”

He still felt somewhat awkward near her, but distracted himself with ordering the food. Turning the television on, he settled next to her again as he wondered how long she planned on staying in Los Angeles. There was a looming apocalypse coming up and he didn’t want her here for it. He couldn’t lose her, not again. Not after everything. If one of them were to go out again, it ought to be him.

He kept his concerns to himself though, focusing on the show and the soothing sound of Buffy’s heartbeat.

O

 

Things continued this way for the next couple of days. They would patrol together and avoid the subject of what happened on the hellmouth. Angel had been holing himself away in his office. The rest of them were suspicious and antsy.

Wesley frowned as he tried to get Angel’s attention. “The Boretz demon has killed someone. I think it’s time we went after it.”

Angel looked bored. “It’s unfortunate, but it’s just another statistic. We can’t save everybody.”

“The statistic’s name was Stacey Bluth.” Wesley said evenly.

“Like I said, it’s unfortunate but we can’t sweat the small stuff. There’s a bigger issue here.”

Wesley looked like he’d gotten slapped. “And Fred? Was she just another statistic?”

Angel’s expression was entirely unreadable. “You know I loved Fred. We all did.”

“That’s not an answer.” The other man’s tone was dripping with barely concealed anger, his eyes meeting his defiantly.

“Then I guess you don’t get one.” 

Buffy couldn’t believe her ears. Storming over to him, she grabbed him by the arm and gazed up at him worriedly. “What’s happened to you? Why are you talking like this?”

He glanced away from her, before turning annoyed eyes to the ceiling. He leveled her with a hard look. “None of your business.”

Buffy gave him a disapproving look and even the other two felt burned by it and it wasn’t even directed their way. Angel swallowed thickly before he straightened up.

“I don’t have time for this, Buffy. There are things going on here that you - none of you - understand.” He explained coldly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

But she wasn’t having it. Barging into his office, she folded her arms with a glare. “They might buy your macho crap, but I don’t. You’re hiding something!”

“And if I was?”

His tone was too calm, only making her more mad. Sighing, she turned as Spike, Wes, Gunn, and Lorne slowly came into the room. Looks like there’d be an intervention after all.

 

“What the hell is going on with you, man?” Gunn snapped

Angel stood, eyeing them all before settling his gaze on Buffy. He started in on a long, waxing speech about power, until Buffy cut him off.

“You expect us to buy this crap?”

“The truth is...” he looked annoyed at being interrupted, staring at the green demon instead. “There’s only one of you who ever understood how things really work. Lorne.”

“Whoa, can I not be the poster boy for your nervous breakdown?” He asked with an anxious chuckle.

“Lorne’s not obsessed with power...right, wrong...good, evil. Angel, Angelus. At the end of the day it means nothing.” He paused. “Still, I can’t make real change happen until I have power. Global power.”

“Is that you or Angelus talking?” Gunn asked.

“Oh please. If I were Angelus, half of you would be dead already for the fun of it.”

Their eyes shifted to Spike as though wanting him to confirm that. He’d known him the longest.

“He’s Angel.” Spike decided. “Which is hard to believe when you sound so much like him.”

“It could be him. Angelus likes to mess with his victims too.” Buffy remembered, glaring at him.

Angel scoffed. “Why are you still here? I’m assuming you came for Spike and you guys can’t even work it out. Which is pretty pathetic, considering he’ll screw just about anything.” Dark eyes shifted to the blonde vampire. 

Buffy’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears. She didn’t notice the unspoken intent between them nor did the others. They were too shocked by his crassness. Spike growled but refused to look away when Angel smirked at him.

Shifting into game face, he took a swing at Angel and missed in his haste. Growling deeply, he moved to attack him again until Harmony popped her head in. Taking a few steps into his office, she smiled a bit nervously as she noticed the tension.

“Um, Angel? You know that guy who wanted to talk to you about that thing? It’s on line three.”

“I have to take this. We’re finished here.”

“Like hell-!” Spike started, about to attack him again until he noticed Wesley shaking his head at him. Forcing himself to calm down, he pulled himself up and followed the others out.

“Something is definitely wrong with him.” Buffy blinked back tears. “Why would he say that?”

“Which part?” Spike asked facetiously.

“All of it!” She exclaimed. “You know as well as I do that something is up with him.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like he isn’t a right bastard at times. We’ll just have to trust he knows what he’s doin’, for now.”

Buffy gaped. “Is everyone here blinded by testosterone? He’s trying to make you guys keep your distance! He’s hiding something important.” Her voice went up a few octaves.

Spike blinked, then gazed over at the closed office door. “That may be, but how else will we get him to talk? He’s not fessin’ up anytime soon.”

Lorne scoffed. “He’s right, doll. I mean, interrogating him didn’t exactly go fantastic.”

“I do have a resource I can use.” Wesley spoke up suddenly and they almost flinched. He’d been so quiet they had nearly forgotten that he was standing there.

“Lindsey.” Gunn nodded.

“Perhaps I can procure some information from him. It might help Angel.” He continued quietly.

“Good, then.” Spike nodded. “Now, this Boretz demon-!”

“I’ll go after it. I’ll join you guys.”

Spike almost rolled his eyes. Bossy as ever, she was. “Me an’ the blue meanie can handle it ourselves.”

Wesley looked distant as he answered. “Yes, that would be fine. I’ll see you all later, then.”

Once the other three left, Buffy turned to face him. “Spike-!”

“Look, things are gettin’ dangerous. And I’m sure they need you back in Rome.”

“No, I’m staying. I can handle myself.” Buffy smiled. “Thanks for your concern though.”

His concern for her was so blatant she couldn’t even be mad at him for trying to send her away. Placing a hand on his cheek, she cupped his face and slowly leaned in to kiss him.

He tensed before returning it more deeply. They pulled back, both their eyes wide as though it were the first time they’d done that. Buffy wondered if it was still too soon for him, meanwhile Spike couldn’t believe she still wanted him that way.

Apparently, she’d meant her words down there in the hellmouth. He had no idea what to do with that revelation. A year or so ago, he would’ve been thrilled. Now, he simply looked at her with awe and confusion. Then there was the whole matter of him and Angel...

Buffy had no idea that they’d...

If possible, he would’ve blushed.

“Are we going?” Illyria walked up to them.

“I’ll just grab some weapons real quick.” Buffy insisted.

“Do you even know how to kill a Boretz demon?”

Shrugging, she gave him a perky grin. “Nope! But I figure that most demons respond to a nice beheading or a pointy object through the heart.”

“Right, then.”

“I wish to kill something.” The demon murmured.

“Me too.” Spike felt anxious suddenly and he didn’t know why.

O

 

They found the abandoned amusement park where it had been sighted. Buffy walked by Spike’s side, Illyria stalking ahead several paces in front of them. It felt like old times, but nicer. More pleasant, perhaps. There was less arguing at least. 

Buffy whipped around suddenly and punched his arm. Spike glared at her, wondering what the hell her problem was. “You crazy bint, what was that for?”

“For trying to make me leave.” Buffy said, finally upset about it. Spike only stared at her, mystifed by the complexity that is woman. 

“Huh? I thought you weren’t mad!” He exclaimed.

“Well, I am. You know, I thought about it on our walk here and where do you get off telling me if I should stay or leave?”

“Buffy...” he was at a loss for a moment. “I was tryin’ to protect you. Angel doesn’t want you here either.”

“I noticed.” She glowered at him. “You know, you two have an awful lot in common these days.”

“We do not!” Spike spat disgustedly. “It’s just, you don’t belong here. You should be somewhere safer, training the girls, enjoyin’ yourself. Not stuck here in this apocalypse.”

“News flash: I’m the slayer. One of many now, but still. This is my job and I’m here and I’m staying damn it!”

“That’s just it.” He grabbed her arm lightly, his gaze softening. “One of many. There’s others like you, not to mention hunters. You don’t need to be here.”

“True. The whole thing with the First actually lifted a heavy burden off of me.” She agreed, smiling fondly. “Because of you, Willow, and the others. The strength you guys gave me and I’m always going to be grateful for that.”

“Buffy-!”

“I’m staying because I want to. No more arguing.” She decided.

“Fine.” He didn’t look pleased, but he relented. It was good enough for her.

Illyria came over to them, holding some scrap metal in her hand. She tossed it aside carelessly, the bang deafening in the silent area.

“How much of that did you hear?” Buffy wondered.

“As if I care about the relations of lower beings.” She replied haughtily.

“Well...good, then." Buffy said uncertainly. "Time to look for this Boretz thingy, I guess."

Illyria dismissed this and looked at Spike. "Angel does not think the casualties of this creature are important enough to avenge. It does not serve his interest."

The pungent scent of the Boretz was distracting him. It seemed to be coming from all around him, and it made tracking difficult. He squinted at Illyria, only half paying attention. The bird had the ability to ramble like no one he'd ever met. She seemed to have Dru's ability to speak for hours without saying anything. "What's that, then? What are you on about?"

"I've seen this before with many rulers. Your leader has been corrupted."

"Okay, first of all? Not my leader, thank you very much. And second, what the bloody hell do you mean, corrupted? Not that I don't think the sod could end up being a megalomaniacal bastard. It's just that if he did...I'd know it. I'd feel it."

Illyria looked at him contemptuously. "I speak as I find. History dictates it. A corrupted ruler on such a path sees treachery and betrayal all around him. He cannot suffer intimates and will eventually turn against them."

Spike smirked. "Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never been intimate. Well, except that once...."

"Spike..." Buffy was studying Illyria with a furrowed brow. "I think there's something to what she's saying. I mean, have you seen him lately? With the not sweating the small stuff? This is not the guy I knew. As much as I hate to say it, I think something's going on here. I don't know if it's the evil law firm, or a spell, or whatever, but Angel's changed. I'm worried."

“So-!”

Buffy blinked several times as his words caught up to her. “Wait. You were intimate with Angel or Angelus?”

“Angel. But does it matter? We’re vampires, we don’t abide by labels.”

Her eyes were huge as she gaped at him. Closing her mouth, she looked somewhat intrigued by the idea which made him tilt his head at her curiously.

Spike studied her coolly. "So, looks like you're not just here for me after all. And I'm telling you, you're wrong."

"Why?" Buffy asked in exasperation. "Because you want me to be wrong? I've seen what happens to friends when they become obsessed with power, and it's not pretty. And since when are you Angel's defender anyway? Since you two hooked up? Cause I’m assuming that this happened pretty recently.”

 

"Look, it's not that I love the guy, but I'd know if he was treading on the dark side. You may know him, pet, but my history with him is a bit longer than yours."

Her eyes darkened. "That was Angelus."

"Different name, same guy. Soul or no soul, there are more similarities than differences between the two. I know his tricks, and we have an understanding. Believe me, I'd know."

"Oh yeah? And what if you're wrong? What if she's right, and Angel really has been corrupted?" She gestured at Illyria, who was studying Buffy with her head cocked to one side. "We can do something. We can, I don't know, stage an intervention or something," she finished weakly, and sighed. "I don't know. But we have to help. I should be telling all this to Giles. I think he's been worried about Angel for a while now."

Spike snorted. "Yeah, let's tell the Watcher. We know he just loves the vampires, and he always has our best interests at heart." He hardened his voice. "Stay out of it, Buffy. Bring in Giles, and you'll only make things worse.”

Buffy was glaring openly at him now. She looked over to Illyria for support, who raised her eyebrow.

"Mark me," she coolly predicted, "he will murder one of you."

The stalemate was broken when a filthy, bleeding man stumbled out from a niche in a stack of debris. It took a moment for Spike to recognize the guardian of the well. "Actually," Drogyn gasped, "he already has.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, events from the series have been altered/out of order. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading!


	4. Resolution

Once Drogyn explained his side, they all decided they needed real answers out of Angel once and for all. Especially after getting information out of Lindsey.

Buffy shook her head. “Secret society? Why would Angel be involved with...”

“Circle of the Black Thorn.” Wesley supplied. 

“So what now? We barge in there again?” Gunn looked skeptical.

“Yes, because that worked out so fantastically before.” Lorne muttered sarcastically.

“We could tie him up. Hot pokers could be involved.” Spike grinned. “Ooh, I’m liking this pla- ow!” He rubbed his side from where Buffy had elbowed him hard.

“No. We’ll just go in like before. We have information now.” Buffy said.

“Okay. Let’s find him.” Wesley tucked the papers under his arm as he turned to walk down the hallway, the others following suit.

O

They managed to usher him into his office and close the doors. Lorne stood near the exit, arms folded. Gunn and Wes had crossbows pointed at Angel just in case. Spike and Buffy stood by the large windows, theirs mouths set into a wary frown.

“Seriously? This again?” Angel glanced between them.

“The sooner you start talkin’, the better.” Gunn aimed the weapon a little higher.

When Angel remained silent, they all exchanged a look amongst themselves.

“We know you’re working with secret societies. You may as well confess.” Wesley said coldly.

“Fine. Yes.” Angel stood. “But as I said before, Lorne is the only one seeing things clearly. He understands the way things should work.”

“Again, really not comfortable being brought into this.”

“Angel, you might as well explain.” Spike snapped. “We don’t have all day.”

Angel glanced at him before he suddenly moved to grab him by the throat. The movement was so fast even Buffy hadn’t been able to block him.  


“Whoa, drop him man!” Gunn pointed the weapon directly at his heart.

“Let him go, Angel.” Wesley agreed warily.

Buffy swallowed anxiously, unsure of what he’d do next. She pulled a hidden stake out of her back pocket, glaring at him.

“Involvre!” He held up a talisman. 

Releasing Spike, he lowered it to his side. “Okay, we have about five, maybe six minutes. From the outside, it looks like we’re fighting.”

“Aren’t we?” Wesley asked coolly.

“You guys don’t get it. There was no other way. I wish I could’ve done things differently, but it was the only way to gain their trust and keep Hamilton off my back.” Angel explained quickly.

Spike looked vaguely proud, Buffy noticed. And smug. It turned out he might’ve been right, as usual. How irritating.

“Listen to me. I did all of those things - the meetings, the agreements- to earn my way in. I can take them down from the inside and once the apocalypse gets rolling, we’ll be able to stop the Powers for at least a moment. Bring them to a screeching halt. Maybe not permanently, but for awhile.”

“So all of this, you were never...?” Buffy’s words trailed off.

“Corrupted? No. But I had to let you all think that I was.” Angel continued. “You would have tried to stop me otherwise.”

“You’re damn right. This is a crazy plan.” Gunn piped in. 

“I’ll say. Sounds messy.” Lorne agreed.

“So all that power tilts the scale crap...?” Gunn’s brow rose.

Angel sighed. “It’s true. Without power, we are weak. Lindsey might be a pathetic half-wit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don’t accept the world the way it is. The powerful control everything...except our will to choose. We’re in a machine and the Black Thorn runs it. They’ll still be here long after our bodies are dust. But we can stop them, even if for a moment.”

“So you’re the one who sent us the message about Drogyn?” Wesley realized.

He nodded. “I needed them to think my own people had turned against me. I’m sorry about everything I said.” His eyes shifted mainly to Buffy and Spike. “But I needed to gain their confidence. It was the only way.”

They all stared at him suspiciously, yet their gazes had softened slightly as they absorbed what he was telling them

“You want to take them on.” Wesley smirked a little.

“It’s about time we got our hands dirty.” Spike smirked.

“Look. I need your guys’ help in this. Help me take them down.” Angel looked at all them and for the first time in a long while, Spike saw his armor crack. 

For that reason, he raised his hand first. “I’m in.”

The others gaped at him a little. Angel met Spike’s gaze and his eyes softened, nodding at him as though to thank him. The others still looked uncertain but slowly, they all raised their hand too.

“Thank you.” 

“What do we need to do?” Spike asked.

“I’ll explain later. For now, go out and enjoy yourselves. This could be our last night.” Angel told them. “We’ll meet back up tomorrow and I’ll delegate tasks.”

They all glanced at him, before nodding their understanding. 

“And you need to leave.” Angel added as he glanced at Buffy.

The blonde blanched as she stared wide-eyed at him. “Are you serious? I’m staying.”

He shook his head. “I need to know there’s going to be someone that survives this. A second front.” His words sounded almost exactly like the words she had used to send him away right before the battle with the First.

At the risk of sounding hypocritical, she sighed heavily and nodded. “Okay, but I really think that I should stay and fight. The new Council has resources.”

“You ought to go back and use those resources to keep fighting the good fight, if you really want to help.” Angel told her quietly. “Power endures. We can’t bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright shining moment, we can show them that they don’t own us.”

O

 

Spike went up to Buffy’s room first. He had plans to head to a bar later and perhaps work up the nerve to recite some of his work. Angel’s words earlier in the year had strangely encouraged him to at least try to recite his poetry again. 

The slayer packed some clothes up, looking uncertain. “Do you really think that I should leave?”

He nodded solemnly. “It’s better this way. At least if we all go down, somebody will live to keep up the good fight.”

“Or is it that you guys don’t want me here after all?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” He smiled a little, leaning against the door frame. “I’m glad you’re here, but I need you safe. I couldn’t bear it if something...” He swallowed thickly.

“I know.” She whispered. “Do you ever blame me for leaving you down there?”

Well, that was a loaded question out of nowhere. Buffy had the tendency to ask tough questions. He gazed up at the ceiling instead.

“No.” He decided resolutely. “And you didn’t leave me, I told you to get outta there. I wanted to save everyone - you. And I did. I don’t regret how things went down.” 

Buffy gave him a watery smile, stepping closer to him. “Good. Because when I...when you first died...well, burnt up...I always wondered if you blamed me. If you thought that I abandoned you down there.”

“Never.” He assured her. “I understood you didn’t want to leave, but you needed to. Otherwise, we would’ve both burnt up, now wouldn’t we?”

She gave him another weak grin. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and she hastily blinked them back.

“I missed you so much.” She decided to be honest. “It kind of surprised me. I knew I cared about you, but I didn’t know I’d miss you the way I did.”

“Buffy...” he came to sit next to her, placing a hand on the small of her back. “Don’t cry like that, luv. I’m back.”

“I know.” She wiped at her eyes. “But what if you weren’t? What if you had stayed gone...like most people.”

“Then you would...” He didn’t know how to respond to that. “You’d get used to me bein’ gone, I figure. You’d have memories.”

“Pretty much.” Buffy smiled at him, before taking his hand into hers. She squeezed tight as if to affirm he was solid and there with her. “Will you stay the night?”

“Of course.” He glanced at the door suddenly. “But first, there’s someplace I have to be.”

Buffy realized then that if she was leaving tomorrow, tonight would be their last chance to spend time together. Possibly the very last chance. Her chest tightened - no, they would survive the battle. Or at least, she hoped.

“I’ll go with you.” Buffy suggested.

He looked very uncomfortable for some reason unbeknownst to her, before he shrugged. “All right, but promise me that you won’t laugh.”

“Why? What are you planning on doing?”

“You’ll see.”

O

Since it was still light outside, they made their way through the sewers instead. Spike and Buffy headed inside the joint and she noticed he made a straight bee line for the bar.

Sitting down, he ordered himself a shot of bourbon. Buffy sat down next to him, eyeing the clientele. “Interesting crowd.” She remarked.

Someone bumped into Spike accidentally and he turned to scowl at them before returning to his drink.

“Yeah, it gets pretty rowdy in here.” The bartender commented as he set about wiping down some clean glasses. He set a dry one to the side. “Another drink?” He asked, noticing he’d finished already.

“Sure. Actually, make that two.” Spike turned to Buffy. “What are you gettin’?”

“All three are for you?” She blinked a few times before shrugging. “Um, just water for me. I don’t really drink.”

“Ah, come on. Live a little.” He smirked.

“Okay, okay! Um...watermelon martini?”

“Sounds good.” The bartender replied, before setting both shots in front of Spike. “You might wanna slow down after those buddy.”

“Trust me, I need a little liquid courage.” He glanced at the stage. “I’m up tonight.”

“You are?” Buffy asked interestedly.

“Good luck, it’s your funeral. Crowd’s rough in here.”

“Well, never had a proper one.” Spike threw back the second drink.

The bartender missed the darkness in that statement - either that or he didn’t care.

Buffy accepted her drink and tentatively took a sip. Her eyes brightened a little. So much better than those strong shots Spike had offered her in his crypt a few years ago.

“You like it?”

“Very tasty.”

“Sorry miss, I forgot. Your ID?”

“Oh, right!” She handed it over, watching as he scanned it before he handed it back.

“You finally learned to drive?”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“That’s good, luv.”

“Well, I got tired of being driven around by Giles all the time.”

“He drives slow.”

“Right?”

She smiled then, feeling lighter than she had in months. Abruptly, Spike stood and blew out a breath. “Alright, my turn. Here goes. And don’t laugh.”

“I can’t promise you anything.” Buffy made a zip signal across her mouth anyway, planting a kiss on his lips. “Go get ‘em.”

He nodded, smiling crookedly at her as he made his way onstage. “Time to put some ghosts to rest...” he muttered to himself.

Spike took his glass with him as he made his way up to the front, elbowing past the burly biker who had just exited the stage. He was just buzzed enough to take the edge off, give everything a pleasant glow, which of course disappeared as soon as he sat in front of the microphone. He gave an internal shrug. Not like this lot would see him again, after today. Taking one last sip for courage, he closed his eyes and leaned into the microphone. The room settled down into something approaching quiet as he began to speak.

"My soul is wrapped in harsh repose,  
Midnight descends in raven-colored clothes,  
But soft...behold! A sunlight beam  
Cutting a swath of glimmering gleam."

So far, so good. He didn't know if the crowd remained silent out of respect or out of horror, but it was too late to back out now. Taking a deep breath, he hurried a bit through the final lines before he could lose his nerve.

"My heart expands,  
'Tis grown a bulge in it,  
Inspired by your beauty..."  
He cringed at the last word.  
"...Effulgent."

For one heart-stopping moment there was complete silence. And then, before he could work up the nerve to open his eyes, he heard applause. Actual applause, a standing ovation, no less. He cracked his eyes open and looked at the crowd nodding respectfully.

"Yeah!" Some random patron shouted. "That was awesome, man!"

He couldn't help the smug grin spreading across his face. Bloody awful poet, huh? He'd like to see the wankers who gave him the title face this particular crowd. He stood up, feet apart and chest out.

"Thank you!" he called out. "That one was for Cecily. All right. This next one's called..." He trailed off as he got a closer look at Buffy.

She was giving him a blinding smile, and he smiled in return. He fumbled with the microphone as he put it back and headed toward her. The crowd applauded her too, clearly thinking that she was this Cecily.

Buffy shoved her hands into her pockets looking...proud, dare he say. Spike smirked and tilted his head. “So, what did you think?” He asked casually, but she could tell that this was important to him.

“I thought it was pretty good.” 

“Yeah? It’s just something I came up with a long time ago. It’s rubbish really.” He gave a low, weary laugh.

Buffy looked around the bar. “Everyone else didn’t seem to think so. You did good up there.” When his eyes raised to hers almost incredulously, her face softened. “Besides, I barely know anything about poetry. Wasn’t exactly in my curriculum much at UC Sunnydale.”

When he remained quiet, Buffy thought she had slipped up and offended him somehow. But when she looked up into blue eyes, she saw that he was touched. 

“Let’s get out of here.” She suggested. 

“Now?” He winced- god, when had he become such a hesitant ponce? ‘Because you don’t want to hurt her again. Don’t hurt the girl.’ A voice responded in his mind.

“No. In two hours. Yes, now!” She exclaimed amusedly.

“Oh...uh...” Spike began slowly, pausing when she leaned up to kiss him firmly on the lips. “Okay, let’s go.” He whispered when she pulled away.


	5. Looking Ahead

Back at her room, Buffy stopped in front of the door. She kissed him again, deeply. Spike grabbed the back of her head, pulling her closer as she fumbled with her key.

Pushing the door open, they made their way to the king-sized bed. Spike tugged his coat off, tossing it onto a nearby chair. She was taking her top off, removing her bra to reveal smooth, perky breasts. Spike felt arousal shoot through him, making him feel hot as he grabbed her half-naked body and pulled them down onto the bed.

“I need you.” She whispered, wanting this fast. It had been so long since they’d been together this way.

Spike felt like he was having an out of body experience suddenly and not in a good, trippy way either. He felt distracted and panicked, only able to take the sight of her naked body in short glimpses. His brain was too busy ruining this moment for him. It chose then to remind him of all the bad things that had occurred between them. Mainly the hate sex and the scene in the bathroom.

‘Ask me again why I could never love you.’

Then the hellmouth. 

‘I love you.’

‘No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.’

Spike froze, his semi-hard erection fading quickly. Buffy noticed this, eyeing the flaccid length before she gave him an odd look. This was so not the man she had known.

“Spike?”

As he did with Anya when she’d barged into his room to search for evidence that he was evil again (which of course they later found out wasn’t true, it was the First’s control over him), he pulled back slightly and looked toward the wall instead. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” He murmured.

“What...? We were having a good time. Well, I was at least.” Buffy’s eyes were full of confusion.

“No, I am too. But...” Spike sighed. 

“Spike, please stay.” She said softly. “You know I don’t beg often. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

He smiled crookedly and looked at the sheets momentarily, before he leveled her with a mixture of amusement and resolution.

“I’m fine. I’m not goin’ anywhere.” 

“Good.” She smiled. Her eyes immediately flickered to his. "Spike..." She breathed, knowing he loved it when she whispered it like that.

His eyes darkened with lust, his smirk turning almost wolfish as he leaned down to capture her lips. Her back arched as his hands roughly grabbed hold of her breasts, flicking at her nipples with his thumb. Gasping, she moved into his touch, pressing her body closer to his.

Moving lower, his tongue slid across one nipple, then the other. She moaned, fisting her hands into his hair. He continued to please her like that, taking his time before he slowly slid her panties off. Buffy could feel his length press against her, causing her to rub against it in response. Massaging his shaft back to full hardness, she gave it a gentle squeeze, smirking at the reaction it got from him. Moaning, he pressed himself against her, sliding his throbbing cock along her thigh. He leaned down to capture her mouth again. He gasped as she continued to pump his cock, pulling back to taste between her thighs. Buffy moaned loudly, clutching her fingers into wavy, gelled hair. Her skin grew hotter, her breaths coming in gasping pants as he licked her clit.

After thoroughly preparing her, he slowly slid inside, waiting for her to adjust. It had been a minute since they'd last been together, so he waited for a moment until she reached to grab his shoulders. He took that as a silent signal, thrusting slowly at first, not breaking his gaze from hers. Buffy normally closed her eyes, but the intensity of his stare captivated her, and she moaned lowly as he sped up his pace.

The only sounds that could be heard was loud moaning, breathless sighs, and the bed creaking every so often.

"Spike!" She cried, unable to help it as her back arched, one hand fisting the blankets while the other stayed on a broad shoulder.

He smirked, giving her a few, deep strokes as she tensed and came. Spike stilled as he came not long after her, feeling her walls contract around his length. His eyes shut from the intensity as did hers, both of them panting heavily. He laid next to her eventually, admiring her and the curves of her body, reaching out to smooth some blonde hair back. She tried to focus on his closeness and the feel of his fingers intertwined with hers. He didn't emanate warmth, but at times she swore his skin felt warm, especially right now.

“I love you...” she whispered distractedly, hardly even realizing the words had slipped out.

“You don’t mean that.” His words snapped her out of her afterglow, noticing he was still panting heavily from his own release.

“What?”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it then or now. This was just a bit of fun. Like old times, right?” He tried to keep his tone nonchalant.

Buffy glared at him to his dismay. He always hurt her even when he didn’t mean to. He sighed, knowing his words had mucked things up again.

Her chin trembled as she made every effort to not yell and keep her tone even. “Spike, I meant it. I love you.”

“Do you?” He squinted at her in a way she didn’t appreciate. Like he saw right through her. “You hardly know the souled me. And let me tell you, it’s not much different than my soulless self. But you were always too blind to see it - everything was black and white to you. Even now. You never could see shades of grey.”

“Because...” she paused, swallowing thickly to keep her anger in check. “Shades of grey makes my job more difficult. How would I know which vampire deserves to die or live? Do I get to know each one, like I did with you? I don’t have time to see grey, Spike. My job is black and white.”

He grew silent, before he said softly, “I understand. I never thought of it that way. Still, good and evil? There’s all sorts of shades of grey. I wasn’t much different without the soul and it took that to get you to really see me. As a man, not a monster.”

She scoffed, pulling the blanket up to cover herself more. “Are you trying to say that you were a good guy without one?”

“No!” He snapped, glaring at the wall instead. “I definitely wasn’t. But I was trying to be good back then. Better. For you.”

Buffy turned away, a lump forming in her throat. It was very silent for several moments until she felt the bed move under his weight as he shifted to get up.

“Spike?”

“I ought to go.” He hastily got dressed, grabbing his duster off the back of the chair. “I suppose this is last time we’ll see each other.”

Buffy stood, hurriedly tossing some pj bottoms on and a tank, blocking the door. Her eyes shone fiercely as if daring him to walk out. His heart clenched, unbeating though it was.

“Don’t go.” Her voice was oddly small.

“I should.”

“I don’t want you to.” She stepped closer to him, placing hands on his shoulders. “Listen - we have issues we clearly need to work through. And there’s not enough time. Apocalypse and all. But...” she bit her lip, before sighing, “but I want to try to work it out with you. I want us to be good again. No, better.”

Spike searched her gaze before he let out a unneeded breath. He didn’t know what to say, so he kissed her again before pulling her against his chest.

O

In Angel’s office, everyone waited to hear their tasks. The brunette was only mildly surprised to still see Buffy there. He should have known she would stay anyhow. 

Spike was impressed by how well his grandsire delegated, taking into account everyone’s strengths and weaknesses.

Finally, his eyes turned to the two blondes. Spike stiffened before he stood and folded his arms. “Alright. Before you speak, I’m not wearin’ any brooches, earrings, necklaces, or pendants.”

“That’s fine. All you need is a rattle.” 

Spike blinked. Ah right, the baby. “Got it. The kid.”

“And a legion of Fell Brethren.” His dark eyes turned to Buffy. “You’re with him.”

No way was he giving Spike and Buffy the harder tasks. He had wanted them to have the easiest and least lethal. Their safety was his top priority.

“Shouldn’t I go with Gunn?” Buffy suggested.

“I can handle Junior by myself.” Spike told him in agreement.

“No, you’re with Spike. I made my decision.” Angel sounded so completely adamant about it, no one dared rebut him further.

“Fine.” Buffy glanced at Charles. “I’ll show up later as back up.”

“Thanks.” He gave her a nod, one of respect. Hunter to slayer.

O

After dealing swiftly with the Fell Brethren and grabbing the baby, Spike turned to Buffy once they made it out. “I’ll take him to the family now. I can do this solo.”

“Right. I’m gonna find Gunn.” Buffy told him. “We’re meeting in the alley north of the Hyperion, right?”

“That was the plan.” Spike nearly shrugged. “See you, Buffy.”

“See you.”

O

Spike was dismayed upon realizing he was the first one there. Perhaps he had misheard him earlier and gotten the location wrong. When he saw Angel enter the alley a bit banged up, his heart sank. Stepping out cockily anyway, he leapt toward him.

“Boo.”

It was raining heavily by this point. Both were soaked and Angel squinted at him through the heavy downpour. Unusual, considering it didn’t rain often in Los Angeles. They could hear the growling of demons nearby and crackling as a large portal began to open.

“Anyone else?” 

“Not so far.” Spike frowned. “Just us.”

They turned as Gunn made his way into the alley. He was bleeding a bit, clutching at his side. He gave them a wide grin, holding his crossbow up towards the sky. “Damn! How’d I know the fang boys would pull through? Y’all are lucky that we’re on the same side, cause I was on fire tonight!”

Spike noticed the blood. “You’re supposed to wear the red stuff on the inside, Charlie boy.”

Charles waved him off as Buffy ran up to them. “I’ll be fine. Luckily, the slayer backed me up. Wounds would’ve been worse if she hadn’t shown up.”

Buffy gazed at him nervously. He stared back at her as if to say he was fine, before he groaned a little as more blood spilled out.

Illyria hopped onto the chained fence, before stepping down onto some wooden crates. “Wesley’s dead.” She told them bluntly, looking confused and even a bit anguished. “It’s strange, I feel grief for him.”

Angel’s head lowered as his eyes clenched shut. Spike let out a loud exhale of shock, his eyes drifting down as did the rest of them. They had a moment of silence for the fallen man before Illyria spoke again.

“I wish to do more violence.”

Angel’s head snapped up as the noises grew louder. More demons poured out, a large scaled dragon flying overhead. Gripping his sword tight, Angel smirked at them as though he hadn’t a care in the world. Spike straightened up at that look as did the others. Their stances grew more prepared for battle, though their eyes stared uncertainly at the sheer amount of demons headed for the city.

“Okay, you take the thirty thousand on the left...” Charles murmured, raising his weapon.

Illyria gave him a look that could almost be considered pity. “You’re fading. You’ll last ten minutes at best.”

“Then let’s make ‘em memorable.”

“Anything in terms of a plan?” Spike yelled over the noise of the rain and demons.

Angel stared back at him. “We fight.”

“Bit more specific?”

“Well personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon.” Angel smirked. “Let’s go to work.”

Then they all charged, the battle finally upon them.


	6. Aftershocks

The ER was buzzing with noise. Angel stood watching as doctors and nurses hurried to patch Gunn up. How he had managed to get through that battle, the vampire didn’t know. Sheer willpower had kept him alive. The former hunter was fighting for his life. He had already lost too much blood and it was looking bleak.

Angel swallowed thickly. He thought briefly about just going in there and turning him to save him, but he knew that would be a worse fate than dying. He had lost so many people recently - Cordelia, Fred, Wesley, and now Gunn. Lorne had skipped town a day ago after killing Lindsey and he wasn’t all that close to his son. He wasn’t sure where Connor was. After the battle was won, he had tried contacting him. Maybe he would see him later on. 

He felt a sense of immense loss and grief overwhelm him suddenly until a hand on his shoulder broke him out of his reverie. Blinking several times, he gaped a little as though he’d forgotten Spike was there too. At least him, Buffy, and Illyria had pulled through. They were all banged up but they’d live.

“You alright?” The blonde asked softly.

“I don’t know.” Angel was honest.

“Dumb question. Of course you’re not. None of us are.”

“I’m glad you guys stayed.”

“Of course. Have to see if Charlie pulls through.” Spike’s voice wavered a little despite the confidant tone.

“I meant for the battle.” Angel told him. “It’s good you all are here too though.”

“Well obviously, you ponce! We’re a team, aren’t we?”

Buffy snapped the lid on the coffee she had bought, walking over to the two vampires. For the first time since she’d arrived in LA, she studied them together. Observed them from a distance. Angel looked...well, not happy. But he looked content. She saw the way they looked at each other and she frowned slightly. How had she not noticed? 

She gave them a bright smile as they both turned to face her. “How’s Charles?”

“No word.” Angel told her. He looked so tired.

“He lost a lot of blood.” Spike commented solemnly.

“I can’t believe he even made it through.” Buffy agreed.

“Just barely.” Illyria’s voice cut through and they all turned to face her. She was in the form of Fred as to not attract too much attention.

O

An hour later, a doctor came out to greet them. He glanced at his clipboard before staring at them grimly.

“Are any of you family?”

“No.” Angel responded.

“We couldn’t contact his parents and there’s no next of kin listed.”

“So you can’t tell us what happened?” Buffy was confused.

The doctor straightened up. “It’s not that. We’re trying to determine his next of kin, that’s all.”

“Is he...” The slayer began quietly, tone thick with nervousness.

“Oh, he pulled through. Charles is resting.” He explained quickly. Before they could take this as good news, he added, “although there was significant blood loss, so we’ve placed him in a medically induced coma.”

Angel’s stomach tightened. “But he’ll recover?”

The doctor’s face was blank and professional, not about to give them false hope. “While we expect a full recovery physically, it seems unlikely that he will wake up. We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Oh...” Angel glanced at the ceiling instead. This was all reminding him too much of Cordelia and her coma. Not medically induced, but still.

“You can see him now if you want.”

“Sure, thank you.”

O

Buffy gazed up at the bright, sunny sky. Not unusual for Southern California, but after that hellish fight, it seemed surreal. Too peaceful, almost. After what had happened, people were back to their daily grinds as though nothing had occurred. She wondered if a spell had been cast over Los Angeles or if the Powers had intervened and caused some sort of mandela effect. But if that were true, how was it she and the others remembered?

She could also vaguely remember Gunn becoming a vampire and Connor dying as he had came to help with the darkness that had fallen over LA after the fight. And even more vaguely, she remembered that Angel had became human. She, Illyria, and Spike had taken over as defenders or ‘demon lord’ as Illyria liked to call herself.

But it all seemed like a distant memory now. Like those past - was it weeks, months? - hadn’t happened. Gunn was still in the hospital, Angel was still a vampire, and Connor was still alive.

 

Giles had been relieved to hear that she was alright. He had asked when she was returning and honestly, the slayer wasn’t sure. She had come here to see Spike originally - the apocalypse part had come later. It seemed as though things were good between them, but even still, she felt an odd hesitation on his behalf. The sweet words and actions were all there, but there still seemed to be a disconnect.

After observing Angel and Spike yesterday, she was curious as to when this ‘one time’ had occurred. God, she hoped it hadn’t happened right before she arrived. 

Then there was the matter of discussing their futures. Would he stay here or come to Rome with her? Or would she stay here and have the other slayers relocate as well?

Buffy bit her lip, turning as she felt a presence. Spike was leaning against the doorframe as much as the sun would allow. He peered at her curiously, before he glanced back.  
“Comin’ inside anytime soon?”

“I just needed some time to think.” She walked back into the lobby of his apartment building. They headed down to basement level. Buffy noticed for the first time just how covienent this place was for him. “Are you staying here?” She asked once they were in the studio.

He shook his head. “Nah, don’t think so. I only got it cause of soddin’ Lindsey.”

“Tattooed dude?”

“The very same.”

“So...” Her voice trailed off, her eyes flickering nervously to his. “You’re coming back with me, right?” It was alot to ask, but she figured he had no other reason to stay. And they had made good progress.

That’s why it outright jolted her when he didn’t immediately agree. “Buffy luv, I don’t know if I should.”

“But we...hello? We were in a good place finally?”

Spike nodded. What she didn’t know, was that he’d come to his own realizations. As much as he loved her and wanted nothing but to go off with her, Spike knew he wouldn’t be able to give her the life she deserved. No children, no sunny walks, no real future. He would be forced to watch her age rapidly before him while he stayed young. It didn’t seem fair to her. After all this craziness and darkness, she deserved some normalcy. 

“Buff, we were.” When her eyes darkened with hurt, he quickly amended, “we are. But I’ve been thinkin’-!”

“Great. The whole soulful introspective crap again!” She tensed, rolling her eyes. “Guess you and Angel are two peas in a pod.”

Spike tensed too, glaring at her. “We are nothing alike. And our coloring is completely different!”

Buffy’s glare wavered. Damn him. He always had this way of being snarky or funny at inappropriate times. Couldn’t he see she was pissed?

“You guys have alot in common now. Maybe you always did.”

“Oh, god!” He shouted. “Are you serious? Our similarities begin and end with the soul. Which by the way, I won back of my own volition. Ponce was cursed! Course, we both know this already.”

“So, are you saying you’re better than Angel?”

Spike grimaced. “Not exactly, though...” he trailed off with a smirk. “Look, that’s hardly the point.”

“Then what is the point?” She snapped.

“I don’t wanna argue, luv. Done fightin’ with you. Haven’t we done that enough?” Spike asked, sounding absolutely exasperated.

It made her frown as she remembered his words as he’d lain himself over the cross when he’d been newly ensouled. 

‘Can we rest now, Buffy?’

Her eyes widened as she stepped away from him. Buffy didn’t know how to respond. As usual, he was right. And that irked her to no end. 

“Spike...” she murmured, unsure of why she felt tears burning her eyes.

His gaze was unreadable for once, when normally he wore his heart on his sleeve. “I’m sorry. I want to be with you, but-!”

“Angel.” Her voice stopped him. 

Spike recalled having an eerily similar conversation with Drusilla. She had been pissed because she knew of his infatuation with Buffy. Was he making another mistake? 

“It’s not him.” He lied readily. “You know what? Sod it. I’m tired of this melodrama.”

“Spike?”

“Let’s go to Rome.”

He didn’t sound as enthusiastic as she would’ve liked, but things were usually more disappointing in reality. In her dreams, he had gladly returned with her, in a much more romantic fashion.

This would do, she supposed.

“Okay. I’ll call Giles and let him know we’ll be back soon.”

He planted a quick kiss to her lips as she pulled her cell out and began to call him, when something hit her. Spike had been trying to rebut her love just minutes earlier, the same way he had on the hellmouth. After a battle. A battle where there was the potential to die. In their case, that had happened to him once already. Maybe he only was so loving toward her before because he hadn’t thought that they would make it through this apocalypse.

The soul really had given him a new perspective. She was frustrated, but immensely proud of the man that he was now. That he could see where things had been toxic and messed up. Sure, they had shared good moments while he’d been soulless, moments where she could believe that he already possessed one. 

Her face paled. It was so clear to her. They seemed to only be on good grounds when there was a looming threat with no promise of an actual future.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you gonna call?”

“Spike,” She breathed, her chest feeling heavy. “You don’t have to come back to Rome if you don’t want to. I think I understand now.”

He tensed, before moving to grab her arms. When she gave him a look, he released her as he threw his hands up exasperatedly. “I’m not-! I want this to work.”

“Me too.”

He frowned slowly. Brushing her bangs back fondly, he searched her gaze. She stared at him unwaveringly, adoringly even.

“Back when I had your chip removed, I told Giles that you could be a good man. And I was right.”

His eyes widened slightly, touched by her words. Spike took a hand into his own and he simply looked at her gratefully. He knew whether they were together or just friends, they would always be connected. That was good enough for him. For her too, apparently.

O

Angel was confused when Spike and Buffy wanted to meet up with him. They met at a restaurant near Venice Beach. 

He watched as the slayer twirled her straw in her strawberry margarita. Spike was absently eating tortilla chips and salsa. Angel glanced between them as he waited for one of them to speak. Perhaps it would have to be up to him.

“Gunn is doing better. Well, physically. He’s not showing any signs of waking up.” Angel told them suddenly, taking a sip of his beer.

The other two frowned sympathetically, their eyes lowering at the thought of him. Buffy took a sip of her drink as she met the brunette’s gaze. “I’m still so sorry about what happened to him. If I had’ve went with him instead-!”

“No, it was my fault.” Angel said lowly. “I knew that Spike could handle the baby alone. I miscalculated. I should have assigned you to join Gunn. I knew better.” His dark eyes shifted to her. “I should have listened to you.”

“You thought he could handle it himself.” Buffy assured him. “You did the best you could.”

“Did I? Did I really?” Angel scoffed. “Some leader I turned out to be.”

Buffy knew the feeling all too well - flashes of her getting kicked out of her home and being comforted by Spike came flooding back. They hadn’t liked her style.

“You tried.” Spike murmured.

Buffy glanced at him in shock, still taken aback by how they got along these days. This past year in LA had changed them both in some ways.

Angel met blue eyes. “I’m not so sure. And I’ll always feel guilty.”

“Don’t.” Buffy said softly. 

“It’s already happened.” Spike said a bit roughly. “The only thing we can do now is hope for a full recovery.”

“Spike-!” She hissed disbelievingly.

It seemed to comfort Angel though, oddly enough. He seemed to snap out of his depression, nodding as he took another long sip. “He’s tough, he’ll pull through.” Frowning morosely, he continued, “And if not, we’ll give him a proper hunter’s funeral. I think he would have wanted that.”

“Right.” Spike nodded.

Again, Buffy was floored how fast guys could go from being emotional to being seemingly fine. She blinked several times, focusing on her drink instead. Swirling the contents again, she glanced between the two.

“So, Angel, we were wondering if you wanted to come to Rome with us.”  
Buffy said in a chipper tone, then winced as she realized too late her tone was far too perky considering what they’d just discussed. 

“You guys are back together then, I can assume?” He didn’t seem agitated or pleased. 

“No. Just friendly.” Spike explained. “I love her to death, but we decided that we work better this way.”

Buffy blushed at his words, her heart feeling warm. She found she didn’t mind the fuzzies. She missed the fuzzies. The easy camaraderie between them. It almost felt like their relationship before the soul, only much less destructive. She hoped they could keep it that way.

Angel shifted rather awkwardly in his seat, trying his best not to seem too interested or relieved. Instead he shrugged casually and inclined his head toward her. “Maybe. I have no more business here. I’m done with Wolfram and Hart and LA.”

“I thought you liked LA.” Spike piped in.

“I do, but a change of scenery would be nice. I think we can agree on that.”

“Definitely.” Buffy smiled.

“Yep.”

“Then maybe once we’re done visiting, Spike and I could help Faith and Robin out in Cleveland.” Angel suggested quietly.

Spike bristled at Robin’s name. “A fine idea for you. I think I’ll stay in Europe.”

“Why? You and Faith got a grudge against each other?” Granted, he could see that. It’s not like him and the dark-haired slayer had the best relationship either. In fact, he wasn’t exactly sure how she would feel about him joining her in Ohio. One could never tell with Faith - she was unpredictable.

“Not me an’ her. Wood. We got...” Spike smirked, before that smirk faded into a frown, “...history. He never quite got his revenge. Not sure if he still wants it, and I’m not about to find out.”

“Right.” Angel remembered very well suddenly. Nicki Wood, the second slayer he had killed. That was his mother. And the reason that Spike had bitched about his blown up trophy. Coat, whatever.

“So, you guys are in for Rome at least?” Buffy ventured.

“Absolutely.” Angel reassured her.


	7. Together Again

The plane ride to Rome was weirdly tense. None of them had expected the ride to be so awkward. Angel kept glancing at his phone in case Illyria contacted them. She had volunteered or rather had insisted that she stay behind in order to watch over Charles and keep up the good fight in the area. Everyone had agreed it was for the best.

When Buffy got up to use the restroom, Angel turned to Spike as if he were specifically waiting for a moment alone.

“I think you guys should keep trying to work it out.” The older man told him.

Spike blinked from surprise. “Thought you and I-!”

“You and Buffy are friends. That’s something even I didn’t necessarily share with her.” It seemed to pain him to admit all this. “It’s not all about love or lust. A solid relationship...there should be like too. As in, you two like each other. You’re friends. Even if the love fades, you guys have that at least. Alot more than some couples can say.”

“I hear you.” Spike said quietly. “And you make some valid points, but I still want more for her.”

“Or is it that the soul has you feeling like you deserve more?” 

Spike’s eyes widened and he shook his head fervently. “No, I love Buffy. She’s the one too good for me.”

“She’s not. And you’re not too good for her. That type of thinking never ends well.” Angel murmured.

“We hurt each other. So much.” Spike said in a low voice that almost sounded like William speaking, the inflection more soft. “I told myself I wouldn’t be a broody ponce like you and that I could forget it all, but the truth is I can’t. When I hold her, kiss her, it just brings it all back. It’s all there under the sur-!”

He cut his words off as she emerged from the bathroom and took her seat next to him. Spike smiled a little and instead looked out the window. Angel merely watched them before he also looked out his window. Buffy looked between the two strangely, her brow furrowing.

“Is it just me or you guys mega tense?”

“Just you.” They said in unison.

“Huh.” She opened a bag of chips, popping some earphones in as she settled back in her seat.

O

Dawn smiled widely when she saw them. Running up to Spike, she stopped short as she remembered how their relationship was before he had died. They had still been semi-friendly, but the whole him attacking her sister thing had put a damper on the familial bond they used to share.

Still, it had been a long time since she had seen him. And damn it, she’d missed him. Throwing her arms around him, she pulled him into a tight hug. Spike was startled momentarily before he slowly hugged her back.

“I knew you weren’t gonna stay gone. You’re too stubborn to die. Well, to be more dead.” Dawn murmured into his shoulder.

He gave her a rare, warm smile as he pulled back to look at her. “Of course.” He took in her appearance - she was a little older, had dyed her hair dark brown, and wore a pink sweater. “How are you nibblet?”

Dawn grinned a bit at the familiar nickname. “Good. I mean, school sucks but what else is new?” She suddenly seemed hit with the surrealism. “How are you...I mean, how...?”

Buffy stepped in. “There’s alot to explain. We should probably head inside.”

“Oh, right. Long plane ride. Bet you guys are wiped.” Dawn kept her eyes on Spike though as though he had blue skin. Her eyes swept down his form curiously.

They all headed into the apartment and sat at the small table near the kitchen. Buffy realized her place was too small to fit all four of them overnight. The guys would have to stay at a hotel, unless they didn’t mind sharing the pull-out couch bed.

“Andrew told us you were back.” Dawn commented, placing some microwaved dinners before her and Buffy. 

Buffy felt bad the other two didn’t have anything, until Dawn returned with two mugs filled with pig’s blood. Her face was twisted slightly with disgust even though she didn’t mind getting it for them. Her sister usually handled that. 

“You-!” Buffy started.

“Went to the butcher shop? Yes. You told me they were flying in too. I am capable of handling things on my own, you know. I even cleaned up.” Dawn seemed very grown to Buffy suddenly and she smiled fondly at her sister despite her sassy tone.

“I noticed. Spic and span.” The blonde nodded.

Angel set his mug down. “How are you liking Italy so far?”

Dawn shrugged. “It’s okay. The food’s good.”

“You don’t like it?”

“I kind of miss California.” Dawn admitted. “But Italy’s nice too. I’d rather go to Paris or London.”

“Dawn...” Buffy began warningly, in a tone their mother would have used.

“Just saying!” She said as casually as possible. “Rome’s cool too.”

“It’s not my favorite city either.” Spike supplied, smirking.

Dawn beamed. She’d really missed him.

Spike looked contemplative for a moment. “You’re nearly done with secondary aren’t you?”

“High school? Yeah, I’m graduating next year.” She looked relieved at the idea.

“Good for you, pet.” 

“Thanks. Pretty exciting.”

With that, they ate their food in relative silence, just enjoying each other’s company. Dawn filled the silence mainly, telling them about her school and friends. She also filled Buffy in more on how Giles and Andrew had been handling training while she had been gone.

O

 

Later that night, the two vampires found themselves in a hotel room. Opening the door to the balcony, Spike stepped out for a brief smoke - he found he didn’t smoke as much these days. A few quick puffs and then he’d put it out. Sensing movement, he inclined his head to see Angel standing next to him.

“A little privacy, please?” Spike muttered around the cig.

“Right.” He stood still regardless, irking him.

“Got something on your mind?” Spike asked instead, blowing smoke out.

“Kind of ironic that we’re back so soon.” Angel folded his arms, smirking. “Especially since I had no plans on being in Rome for a long while.”

Spike considered his words. “Yeah, me either.” Turning to him, he quirked a brow. “Speaking of which, I could see me comin’ back. You know, keep tryin’ to see if I can patch things up with Buffy. But why are you here?”

“She invited me, remember?”

Blue eyes narrowed. “I know, but I found it odd that you agreed to tag along. What’s here that so important other than Buffy?”

Angel glanced over at him. “There are other things.”

“If you say so, mate.”

 

Angel went back inside to give him his privacy just then. Spike came inside half an hour later, looking more relaxed. He shrugged off his coat, tossing it onto a nearby chair. Slipping under the covers half naked, he settled back on the pillows. He heard rustling as Angel got under the covers in the bed next to his. Opening his eyes, he turned to glance at Angel. The brunette was staring over at him too, before he lifted the sheets next to him and patted the space. Spike blinked several times before he threw back the blanket and crawled into bed beside him. 

Spike smirked wolfishly. “We may as well have gotten a king room.”

“I wasn’t sure if...two beds seemed...” Angel trailed off, grinning nervously if he didn’t know any better.

Spike silenced him with a kiss. Angel paused as he suddenly realized those feelings from that afternoon hadn’t changed after all. He had feelings for the other man, but he had assumed after Buffy’s return the two blondes would get back together. But it seemed they were merely friendly now. 

Running a hand through the other’s hair, Angel felt him move closer. He began nipping at his neck, sinking his fangs in. Angel gasped, turning over to face him. He had thought that he would be too tired from the flight. He was apparently wrong. Angel himself was pretty beat, but when Spike kissed him hard it gave him a surge of energy he didn’t know he had. Moaning, he grabbed platinum blonde hair and pulled him closer. 

 

Angel resumed kissing Spike’s neck, moving him so that he laid on top of him, straddling the older vampire waist with his powerful, yet slender legs. His mouth wondered close to Spike’s but their lips didn’t meet. Angel slipped his hand beneath the fabric of Spike’s tight sweats, his unbeating heart feeling as though it were racing as his fingertips made their journey over smooth skin, down his toned abs until...

Spike moaned louder than he intended when Angel finally grasped his throbbing length. His head fell back at the pleasure as the older male leaned forward to lick teasingly at tip, before stroking his cock steadily in his hand. With shallow breaths and closed eyes, both men surrendered to their lust and to their deepest desires.

Angel delighted in the way Spike’s smooth, pale legs would clench with pleasure and how his body would go rigid when it overwhelmed him.

At the same time, Spike loved how undone his normally reserved, impassive sire became while being pleasured - the ragged breaths that escaped from his lips and the way his sex twitched each time the tip of his manhood was rubbed by skillful fingers who knew exactly how to pleasure him.

Once satisfied that his tight cavern had been thoroughly prepared for him; he began pressing forward, forcing the tight opening to stretch and allow him entrance. Just as he got his tip in; his partner halted all movement and tensed up.

Angel glanced at him directly. "Relax."

"Easier said than done..." Spike murmured, willing his muscles to loosen up slightly. He wished they had some damn lube - oh well, he was used to discomfort. It was starting to feel good after some time, causing the blonde to sigh lightly and place his hands firmly on Angel’s chest.

The older man saw that his lover was falling back into the world of pleasure; forcing him to find relief for his own painful need. He pushed deeper into his tight entrance and reveling in the feel of his strong muscles contract around his intrusion. It was taking every ounce of will power in his entire being to prevent himself from slamming himself to the hilt and pound him into the bed. 

A grunt of rejection sounded in the older male's ears causing him to lick hard at the pulse point and to twist and tease a nipple into rock hardness with his nimble finger tips. Angel leaned forwardly suddenly, suckling at the other's rosy nipples.

Spike moaned loudly, his fists clenching at the almost unbelievably blissful feeling of being filled in just the right way. It felt good, almost painful, but not quite. Angel knew what angle to go in, hitting his prostate almost immediately as he rubbed his cock slowly against Spike’s walls, giving him time to adjust.

Angel ceased all movement and let his eyes close in bliss momentarily. Never had he felt anything so euphoric in his entire existence. He’d been with other people, but something about him was intoxicating. Vibrant. He could see why Buffy had turned to him after coming back from the grave. For being undead, he really knew how to make someone feel alive.

 

"Angel, move...now." Spike panted out, burying his head into the blankets.

He merely nodded quickly, slamming his shaft back in more forcefully, causing the smaller man's toes to curl somewhat.

His pace picked up slowly with each thrust causing Spike to stroke himself in matching rhythm. Angel placed his lips next to his ear suddenly. "Don’t cum yet.” He ordered and picked up his pace tenfold causing the sound of slapping flesh to reverberate throughout the small room. Spike tensed, trying to hold back a little longer. His cool skin felt like it was ablaze.

He lifted the smaller man up suddenly and moved them so that he was in his lap, and continued thrusting into him unabashedly. Spike’s quiet moans quickly escalated into loud cries, not caring who might hear him.

 

Spike’s world stilled for a moment as he released, his eyes squeezing shut from the intensity. His entrance contracted around Angel’s length, causing the older male to grunt as he released his seed into him, shifting into his true form as he sunk his fangs into his neck. 

The two collapsed onto the bed next to each other and cuddled up to feel the warmth of the others' body. Angel brushed the few curls from his face that was no longer tamed by the gel and cupped his cheek. He secretly liked his natural hair, but refrained from saying that aloud. 

Spike didn’t take compliments well. He had tried to compliment his poetry not long ago and the blonde had rebutted his words by telling him it meant little to him since he liked Barry Manilow.

What was wrong with that, anyway? Angel buried his nose into Spike’s neck, human guise back in place. He inhaled his scent and smiled a little. 

He felt contentment wash over him as they fell asleep.

O

Blinking dark eyes open hazily, he stared down at the man laying next to him. Angel still couldn’t believe he and Spike were here, together like this. Not long ago, Angel had been all too happy to stuff those feelings down and pursue other relationships. 

Shifting to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, he paused as he glanced behind him again. He made his way into the shower, letting the warm water wash over him. Once he finally got out, he dialed a number. A few, in fact.

Angel knew of many good places in Rome. Spike followed him inside as they waited to be seated. In less than five minutes, they had a nice table. Spike realized he must have made reservations while he had been sleeping. While the older vampire didn’t usually eat regular food, he knew that Spike enjoyed it from time to time.

“Spaghetti and meatballs, luv. Thanks.” He told the waitress, flashing her a grin.

She blushed slightly, tucking some brown hair behind her ear as she turned to Angel. “Very good. And you, signore?”

“Nothing for me, thanks. The drink is fine.” Angel told her.

She looked uncertain. “If you’re sure. Otherwise, let me know if you change your mind.”

“Thanks.”

Spike took a sip of his beer. “What’s with that look on your face? If you’re this happy, something must be wrong.”

“No-! Yes. Wait, no!” Angel sighed frustratedly, before he smiled again. “I made reservations somewhere else too. It was tough getting tickets last minute.”

“Football?” He asked hopefully, even though he knew there wasn’t a game playing tonight. A small part of him had already correctly guessed, but he didn’t want to be right.

“Uh, no.” Angel grinned more sheepishly. “Ballet - but before you protest, it’s really good. Moving, even.”

Spike recalled Angelus had attended such things with Darla and Drusilla. He himself had never tagged along, always coming up with an excuse to not go. It seemed his interest in art still lingered even now. Spike supposed he’d humor him but not without complaining and being a general pain in the ass.

“Bloody hell.” He muttered. “Honestly? The bloody ballet? So that’s the real reason you told me to dress up.” Spike had left his duster behind, instead wearing a nice semi-formal outfit. Angel thought the blazer paired with a button down shirt looked good on him too, but he refrained from saying that.

Angel gave him a look. “Oh come on. That’s exactly how Cordelia and the others reacted when I invited them.”

“And they were right to!” Spike exclaimed, glaring at him. “Look, I’ll go. But if I go, we’re also going to a football game. Real football, not the American version.” 

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Angel gave him a fond smile anyhow, making Spike even more uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat before raising his glass.

“Cheers, then.”

“Cheers.”

O

The theatre was packed. Angel and Spike eventually managed to find their seats. The younger man stared at the pamphlet he’d been handed earlier by an employee. “Don Quixote, huh? Could be worse. Could be Giselle.”

“That’s a classic.” Angel retorted indignantly.

Spike simply shrugged before he caught someone’s gaze. They were looking over at them quite intently. The blonde nudged Angel, trying to gesture discreetly. “You know that ponce?”

“No, can’t say that I do.” Angel replied. “That’s why I don’t like staying in Italy for too long. Too many demon clans and rules. Knowing my history, Angelus probably did something to peeve one of these clans off.”

“We ought to go to London or back to the states soon.”  
Angel shushed him. “Yeah, sounds good, but they dimmed the lights. It’s about to start.”

Spike smiled a little, unable to believe how similar yet different Angel and Angelus were. Angel was serious like his alter ago, but somehow more...kind, he supposed. A bit of a dork too. Getting to know his grandsire with a soul had been interesting to say the least. Would Spike have bothered to reconnect with him if he hadn’t gotten his soul back too? He wasn’t sure. Probably not. 

The younger vampire glanced back to see if that guy was still staring at them. He was. Not good. Spike cleared his throat, settling back into his seat as the production began.


	8. Bonds

Angel was still rambling about his favorite scene as they left the theatre. Spike was only half-way paying attention, but he didn’t bother to try to shut him up as his grandsire didn’t usually talk this much. It was oddly endearing to see him so amped up about something. And Spike thought he was a one-note broody bastard. There was a little more to him than met the eye, given the right circumstances.

Spike’s grin faded when he saw that same man from earlier, who was now surrounded by what he assumed was his group. Angel noticed that, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

“It’s alright. You enjoyed yourself, clearly. That’s all well and good.” Spike said distantly, distracted by the other vampires.

“What’s wrong?” Angel tensed as he finally noticed them, his fangs elongating a bit. “Great. He’s still here.”

“Is he one of the Immortal’s lackeys?”

“No. Worse.” Angel muttered, grimacing as the other brunette spotted him and came over. Spike also tensed, prepared to fight if need be, until the man patted his shoulder with a hearty laugh.

“Angelus!” His accent was thick, his voice deeper than expected.

“It’s just Angel now.” He looked uncomfortable.

“Right. The soul. We’d heard about that.” The other vampire said lowly, as if disappointed. “I haven’t seen you since 1870! It’s been far too long.”

“Not long enough.” Angel muttered.

He smiled patiently, dark eyes flickering to the blonde vampire standing behind him. Glancing down his form interestedly, he gave him an odd look. “Is he one of yours?”

“Yes.”

“How interesting. I thought you only kept female companionship.” He murmured.

“He was an...Drusilla turned him, not me. It wasn’t...” Angel wasn’t quite sure how to explain it. An oversight? A mistake? That sounded too rude for even him to say aloud. But it was true - he hadn’t really imagined Drusilla would ever take matters into her own hands and make herself a playmate. She had talked about it, but he assumed it would remain just that. Talk.

“It’s alright, I understand.” The other vampire shrugged. “Variety is good, no?”

Angel grinned weakly. “Vincent, this is Spike. Spike, Vincent Romano.”

They shook hands briefly. The blonde still was gazing at him suspiciously. It was awkward for a few moments until Vincent spoke again.

“I had heard you were in Rome not long ago. The Immortal has been talking about you and your little friend here.”

Spike nearly growled at that description. He couldn’t fully be mad, however, as there was something very charming about Vincent. It was purely the accent. That’s all.

“Yes, we had business here.” The brunette said shortly.

“Ah, yes. To retrieve the capa-!”

“- de familia. Yes. We’re all caught up here.” Angel interrupted rudely as he turned to walk away.

Vincent stopped him by pressing a firm hand against his shoulder, holding him in place. “Perhaps we will see each other later, no?” His eyes traveled to Spike again.

Angel nearly flinched, brushing him off. “Maybe. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Spike grumbled incoherently before he added, “Don’t give me orders. I’ll go when I damn well please.”

Vincent grinned widely, turning as they left. “See you around, Angelus.”

“Hopefully not any time soon.” He mumbled under his breath.

Spike had to actually jog to catch to him. He took one last look at Vincent, elbowing his way through the crowd in order to catch up. “Wait up! Would you slow down for a second?”

O

 

They made their way back to the hotel, going through the backstreets and alleys. Angel glared as he noticed a vampire feeding on a young woman. Ripping him off, he tossed him over in Spike’s direction. The younger man let a hidden stake fall from his sleeve as he kicked him in the stomach, sending the man back a couple feet. He paused as Angel staked him, eyes widening as he turned to dust.

“I had him, you git...”

“My bad.” Angel noticed the woman ran off, not even bothering to thank them. They were used to it however - at least half the time, people ran off out of terror and confusion. Couldn’t really blame them. 

“I suppose we should get going.” Spike said when Angel didn’t budge for several moments.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” He asked abruptly.  
Spike tilted his head. “Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Angel murmured nonchalantly.

“Well, dunno about you, but I quite - vampire.”

“Huh?” Angel blinked several times, before he ducked as he sensed another vampire behind him. Taking several steps back, he watched as Spike punched her before ramming a stake through her heart.

“Well, tonight got even better.” Spike seemed pleased, satisfied with doing a bit of violence.

Then Angel slammed him against the brick wall of the alley in a bruising kiss. Spike smirked when he pulled back, gasping as Angel ran his hands down his back and ass.

“I stand corrected. Now it’s even better.” Spike said with a small laugh. 

Angel didn’t reply, just kept kissing him deeply. He wasn’t much for exhibition, but he knew the blonde liked it. As if sensing his thoughts, Spike pulled back, panting a little. 

“Hold on. What the bloody hell are you doin’?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I do.” Spike said, feeling strangely aroused by his words. He glanced about the empty alleyway. It was mostly dark, the only light coming from the dim streetlight above. “I just didn’t think this was your sort of thing.”

“You’d be surprised.” Was all the older man said as he unbuttoned Spike’s shirt a little. The younger man smirked widely, turning to face the wall as he lowered his briefs followed by his pants. He placed his hands on the cool brick, bracing himself as Angel gently stretched him open with his fingers. 

Spike groaned when Angel entered him somewhat roughly. He felt fangs graze along his neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh. Closing his eyes, his moans grew louder as his thrusts became faster. The blonde’s nails dug into the wall, his cheek resting against brick as his mouth opened in ecstasy. 

“Oh, god-yes!” He hissed as Angel brushed against his prostate.

“Spike.” He heard his name murmured in a rough whisper, only making him harder.

He pumped himself in time with Angel’s thrusts, feeling warmth build up inside him. Even though his skin was cold, he felt like he was burning. Panting heavily, he inhaled sharply when Angel grabbed his hips more tightly.

“Please...” Spike didn’t know who or what he was begging for, all he knew was it felt amazing and he didn’t want to it to stop.

Neither knew how long it went on for - they were lost in each other. Spike moaned as he came suddenly, Angel pausing his thrusts as his entrance tightened around him. He groaned as he pulled out and shot his seed onto his hand, his head rolling back from pleasure.

Spike finally managed to recover, turning around and straightening up. Angel zipped back up, still panting hard. The blonde gave him a look that promised more fun later.

O

They walked the hallway exchanging light, pleasant conversation. It was one of the most normal conversations the two had shared. The brunette felt a sense of peace settle over him until it was ruined moments later when he spotted something nearby. Angel growled quietly as he noticed a note and basket full of desserts by their door. Skimming the note, he bunched it up in his fist.

“Let me guess - the Immortal?”

Angel opened the door and the two entered quietly. Flicking on the lights, he discarded the desserts into the trash can. Spike blanched at him, gaping at the wasted treats. Although considering it came from the ponce, best not to eat it. Probably poisoned.

“Yep.” Angel finally answered, sighing. “God, I hate that guy.”

“What did the note say?” Spike tried not to sound too curious.

“Here.” He handed it to him. 

‘I had heard you were back in my city. Feel free to visit soon. Ciao.’

“What a bastard...” Spike said in a tone somehow serious and sarcastic at once, crumpling the note in his hand.

“Right?” Angel agreed wholeheartedly. “Feel free to visit? Why would I want to do that? It’s not like I asked him personally to deliver the head. Nobody asked him to do that.”

Spike looked pensive, seemingly lost in thought. Blinking, his eyes refocused as he tossed the note in the trash can. “Damn right. Although, I suppose in retrospect it was nice of him.”

“Whatever. Still my arch-nemesis.”

“Cheer up, mate. Don’t let him go spoiling your night.” Spike insisted, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Angel glanced up and nodded. “I know. I’m not really that mad. Mostly just irritated.”

“I get it.” Spike replied quietly. “Now, let’s have us another drink.”

“Sounds good.”

 

O

When Buffy called the next morning, she sounded vaguely worried or distressed about something. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing much.” Spike drawled. “How are you?”

“Oh, good. So good.” She paused. “How long are you guys staying in Rome?”

“Dunno. We’re planning on leaving soon. Might go to London or visit Faith in Cleveland.”

Buffy seemed to perk up at that. “Cool. I gotta go to London soon to meet up with Giles and Andrew.”

“What about the girls?”

“Most of them have gotten sufficient training to do the job well. If they choose to, anyway. Some of them seem to be backing out - not that I blame them. The demon-slaying life isn’t for everyone.” Buffy murmured. “Heck. It’s barely for me.”

“And Dawn?”

“She’s old enough to watch herself. She’s practically an adult. Well, almost.” Buffy paused again. “I was wondering if you guys would join me.”

“Of course. If you need our help, we’re there.” He promised. 

He could hear the smile in her tone. “Thank you. Cause something majorly weird is going on.”

“What, luv?” By this point, Angel looked concerned. He had rolled over in bed and Spike could tell he was trying to piece together the conversation.

“I dunno. Willow explained it better. She’s flying in.” Buffy replied casually. “Oh-hang on! I gotta go. I’m leaving for London tonight. See you guys there soon hopefully.”

“Are you all meeting at Giles’ flat?”

“Yep. In Bath. I’ll text Angel the address.”

“Luv...are you sure this is a good idea? Us bein’ in his place? You know he’s not particularly fond of either one of us.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.” She seemed to get cut off for a moment, before she resumed talking. “Okay, gotta go! See you.”

“Bye...” he stared at the phone for a moment before hanging up.

“Is she okay?” Angel tried not to appear too concerned.

“She’s fine.” Spike answered. “Red thinks something’s amiss. We’re all supposed to meet in London.”

“I think I feel it too.” Angel murmured. “Something dark. Familiar.”

Spike felt a tingle go down his spine. “Hm. Haven’t noticed till now.”

“Well, that’s hardly surprising.”

“Yeah- hey! You’re not exactly the sharpest tack either.” Spike hit him, though more playfully. Still, he looked somewhat affronted. He let it go a few moments later, shaking his head as he sighed. 

O

They eventually all met at the new Watcher Council’s headquarters rather than Giles’ flat. As soon as Angel and Spike walked in, Andrew brightened up at the sight of them. He refrained from hugging Spike again when he saw him give him a look as though daring him to try.

Andrew quickly cast care aside and hugged him anyway. Spike tensed, glaring over at Angel who looked amused.

“I’m so glad you guys made it. We weren’t sure if you two were actually gonna show.” He explained.

“Yes, well, we’re here.” Angel gave him a tight grin before he noticed the others finally. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Spike waved.

Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles all sat there at the large table. It almost seemed like old times, when they used to gather in the library of Sunnydale High. The slayer and witch offered them smiles and waves in return, while the men simply glanced at them neutrally.

“So, what seems to be the problem?” Spike asked nonchalantly.

Andrew went up to a large white board, finishing an illustration he had been working on. It looked like a horned figure of some sort. “We’re not entirely sure what ‘it’ is.” He said, making quote hand gestures.

“Why’d you need quotes for that statement?” Angel wondered, trying not to smile.

The others apparently had the same problem, their lips tight.

Andrew sighed as if the brunette were simple. “Well, Angel, that’s because we’re not entirely sure what kind of entity it is. Demon, alien, or something never before seen.” He said in the strange inflection he always took when relating a story or theory of some kind. 

“Uh huh.” Spike’s brow rose.

“It seems ancient, whatever it is.” Willow piped in. “Witches all over could feel the darkness.”

“Demons too.” Angel nodded. “I think that maybe, whatever this thing is-!”

“Ah, ah, ah!” Andrew interrupted loudly. “The time for talking has passed!”

They all stared at him with tightened mouths, glancing between one another to see if he was actually serious.

“And the time for listening is now.” He finished, turning back to the board. “Now, if you two will sit down. I still have a theory.”

Angel and Spike complied reluctantly, exchanging a look as they sat. Andrew cleared his throat, pointing to the monster on the board. “This could be one of its many forms or it could have no form at all, and rather occupies a being’s body to further its own end.”

“And do you have any idea what it’s called?” Angel asked.

Andrew shook his head. “Unfortunately, no.”

Buffy hummed pensively. “Well, it feels demon-y. So it’s ancient but it can’t be the First again, can it?”

“God, I hope not.” Xander sighed. “Cause if that’s the case, I should’ve stayed in Africa.”

“And I should’ve stayed in Brazil.” Willow nodded.

“Oh, come now. I’m sure whatever it is, it can’t be much worse than the First.” Giles told them calmly. 

“But what if it is?” Buffy wondered.

“Then we’ll deal with it like we always do.” Giles assured her. “We have more people now, more slayers.”

“Right.” Buffy’s eyes looked distant suddenly. 

“Don’t worry. You guys have it all under control.” Andrew shrugged. “Well, usually.”

“Thanks for that. So inspirational.” Xander quipped sarcastically.

Andrew lifted his chin a bit. “I can sense the sarcasm, but you are welcome anyway.”

Xander and Buffy rolled their eyes in response (or in his case, eye), while the rest only gazed at him amusedly.

O

 

After the meeting, Angel met Spike outside of the building. “I think I know what it is.”

“What?”

“Look, I’m not entirely sure. All I really know is that something is brewing, but why should that be any surprise? Seems like something dark is always there around the corner.” Angel sighed.

“Keeps it interestin’, I suppose.” He replied. “Can’t know peace without chaos.”

Angel’s head snapped up at that. His eyes widened a little. “Huh. Never thought of it that way. I’m always so busy trying to fix things.”

“Yeah, well, yin and yang and all that pillock. Right?” Spike smirked.

“Right.”

“In the meantime, you wanna go kick some demon ass and shag later?”

Angel grinned crookedly. “I love you.”

Spike’s stomach clenched at those words. This whole time, neither had said those words out loud, even jokingly.

The younger man scowled to hide his embarrassment. “Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”

“I meant it.”

“So do I.”

They turned and walked down the street side by side. Neither one knew what adventures awaited them but they were eager to find out. At the moment, simply being together was enough.


End file.
